Hello again.
So I went out today in search of boots and/or bras and/or whatnots. I went to three stores specifically about that (Target, Burlington Coat Factory [?], and a Western shoe/clothing place [Lebo's?]). I was also going to go to Kohl's and Bed, Bath, & Beyond originally (full schedule, ik).
(I [believe/know] I mentioned this before, but am too lazy to actually check, but for the whole "complete truth even though it's not needed" whatnot, I also popped into Dollar Tree and Ollie's. [And yes, that took a long time to type, alas. Dx])
HOWEVER, the thing I wanted to talk about in particular was how, after exiting the Western place, I went to leave the parking lot. I saw a woman on the corner with a sign. Long story short, I pulled over, hugged her, prayed with her, gave her $20 dollars to help her pay this week's stay at a motel in inner S'burg, and listened to her talk for a bit (I was going to say we talked, but [honestly] she did most of the talking).
If what she said was true, she's had a heckuva hard life. (I was going to use stronger language, but NOPE because reasons. o3o). Like, she was (honestly) rather grungy. She told me about how she has (or had, I don't remember which) polio. Also, her stepfather molested her when she was younger. (Mind you, she appeared to be late 40's / early 50's now.)
The poor/impoverished/homeless pull at my heartstrings, and I want to help them. I know way back when, I read this book Under the Overpass, and I think/know that's why I almost always have these strong reactions when I see people in physical need.
I also know that there are stories out there of people who *insert negative whatnot here*. But there are people who are in legitimate need too. :c
ALSO, today we (my parents and I) went to the Social Security Administration office about me getting on Social Security. (Note: We do NOT want me on Social Security, because then Tricare wouldn't be obligated to continue covering me [or something], so yeah. Yeah.) But, in order to get the Tricare whatnot renewed, I need to be denied Social Security (along with other things, such as doctor's note, etc.)
I titled this MONEY WOES PART ONE, because a) I am most likely going to be posting about this again in the future (spoiler alert!), and b) I am not good at managing money. Like, at all. I now have a job (work study, so eight hours/week when school is in session); I keep track of what I spend money on and whatnot.
I can spend money. I have that technology. If/when I do, though, I want to do so wisely. So, for example, I don't want to eat out every day, or something. :/ (Yes, I would LOVE to be able to splurge like that, but nope. >:C)
I am SO STINGY normally, and then I, then I see this woman, and am like, hey take my money.
Also, the other day, my dad and I were at Food Lion and this black man approached Dad saying something along the lines of Hey neighbor! He proceeded to pull Dad off to the side and (apparently) got $40 dollars from him (which, if you know my dad, does NOT happen for no reason). Once we got back to the car, Dad kind of blew up in anger at himself. He told me that this "neighbor" said he needed $40 to pay for fixing his truck, would he be willing to spot him some, he'd pay him back. I thought I recognized the black man from somewhere (though [anti-PC alert] I am not adept at differentiating between black males [but that's a different blog post Dx]). Dad thought he was a neighbor at first, because a black family moved in down the street.
But yeah, so Dad was super ticked/pissed-off that he got swindled our of $40. No huzzahs. :/
Alsoalsoalso, I was going to go Bed, Bath, and Beyond, but realized that I kind of sort of REALLY needed to go to the bathroom. Therefore, I did not go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond, but went home instead. (I don't want to be tied to my bladder like this, dang it.)
Today has been a "meh" sort of day (borderline super "meh" o3o). So... SUPER meh.
Dear Lord,
Please be with Mary Therese (?) "Shakes," the woman I interacted with earlier today. Please give her the means to climb out of this pit that she is in. Please give me guidance as well about what to do re: driving her to church. o3o(!)
Please give me peace about the future, peace and guidance.
Please let Dad's procedure (grotti [sp?] procedure) go well tomorrow. Please let nothing show up, or if something does show up, please let it be minor, like what happened with me and Mom. (I'm still annoyed that I got a colonoscopy before either of my parents, egads Dx [then again, I've had a bunch of medical whatnots before my parents, like chemotherapy, a stroke, a seizure, etc o3o /selfpity]).
Please, Lord, grant me Your peace. Grant Your peace to my parents as well. Please let Dad come back to You, even if it takes them moving out of SC once I graduate next year.
Please give them the means to move out of this area, somehow. (Same for me too, please. o3o)
BUT ABOVE ALL, please let us all rest in You, no matter what. Absolutely no matter what.
In Your Name, Lord,
Amen <3 p="">
Monday, December 28, 2015
Saturday, December 26, 2015
December 26 - Words
Mk, so this post is going to be a mish-mash of sorts.
1) A friend reposted this link to her Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/63275426166/photos/a.197982061166.139751.63275426166/10153193263121167/?type=3&theater
I liked it before I read her commentary saying that 1) those aren't oceans and 2) they are mixing.
Another mutual friend (who I happened to suite with last year) commented on the friend's post, saying something about her being an f***-ing godless heathen. (Said person, I believe, does not have a relationship with Christ. :/ )
Mk, so ONE - I don't want to have these thoughts about these people. They are loved by God. THEREFORE, I should strive to show them love as well.
TWO - one of them is my adopted little's roommate, one of them is (as aforementioned) a previous suitemate (THAT didn't work out, egads Dx), and another person who commented blocked me on Facebook after I sent her a friend request.
-About the last one, I took Advanced Composition with her last Spring, and she read my paper about my medical whatnots. Also, we used to sit at the same table in the cafeteria. I sometimes eat there now, when A, B, or C (lol xD) are there, and if/when I sit down she gives me this sort of... poisonous-looking smile. :/ Blah / No huzzahs / etc.-
My adopted little's roommate is a Bio major, so she rejected the image for the utter disregard for scientific reasoning in the caption. (Which, I now recognize, is true [her reaction to the caption].) One of the other...
You know what? I am going to (attempt) to pull an Elsa and LET IT GO.
Dear Lord,
Please be with C, S, and B. B is a Mormon. I know that and you know that. I don't know if Mormonism is in line with what You accept (?).
Please be with A. Please help her stay strong, make Christian friends, etc.
Please help me. Please help me to see others as You see them. Please enable [baleen] to love them in the same way (or as close as I can as a human, that is o3o) as You do.
ALSO, PLEASE grant me peace about the future. Dear Lord, grant me peace, guidance, all of the above. Please oh please.
In Your name, Lord,
Amen <3 p="">
1) A friend reposted this link to her Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/63275426166/photos/a.197982061166.139751.63275426166/10153193263121167/?type=3&theater
I liked it before I read her commentary saying that 1) those aren't oceans and 2) they are mixing.
Another mutual friend (who I happened to suite with last year) commented on the friend's post, saying something about her being an f***-ing godless heathen. (Said person, I believe, does not have a relationship with Christ. :/ )
Mk, so ONE - I don't want to have these thoughts about these people. They are loved by God. THEREFORE, I should strive to show them love as well.
TWO - one of them is my adopted little's roommate, one of them is (as aforementioned) a previous suitemate (THAT didn't work out, egads Dx), and another person who commented blocked me on Facebook after I sent her a friend request.
-About the last one, I took Advanced Composition with her last Spring, and she read my paper about my medical whatnots. Also, we used to sit at the same table in the cafeteria. I sometimes eat there now, when A, B, or C (lol xD) are there, and if/when I sit down she gives me this sort of... poisonous-looking smile. :/ Blah / No huzzahs / etc.-
My adopted little's roommate is a Bio major, so she rejected the image for the utter disregard for scientific reasoning in the caption. (Which, I now recognize, is true [her reaction to the caption].) One of the other...
You know what? I am going to (attempt) to pull an Elsa and LET IT GO.
Dear Lord,
Please be with C, S, and B. B is a Mormon. I know that and you know that. I don't know if Mormonism is in line with what You accept (?).
Please be with A. Please help her stay strong, make Christian friends, etc.
Please help me. Please help me to see others as You see them. Please enable [baleen] to love them in the same way (or as close as I can as a human, that is o3o) as You do.
ALSO, PLEASE grant me peace about the future. Dear Lord, grant me peace, guidance, all of the above. Please oh please.
In Your name, Lord,
Amen <3 p="">
Friday, December 25, 2015
December 25 - Christmas (!/?)
So it is finally Christmas. What have I done so far today?
I woke up at (what I believe was) a reasonable hour - before 9 AM. (It is my vacation time; cut me some slack, k?)
We (we being me and my family) actually sat around the table and ate breakfast together-ish.
(Side note/tangent - I feel as if I should be as thorough as possible in my descriptions because I want to be faithful to what actually happened, so in the previous statement, I wanted to add that technically, I got to the table first, then Mom came in after walking the dogs, then Dad joined us, but that's not super important, is it? And yet and yet and yet, because of all the whatnot that has gone down, I feel it IS important to be as truthful as possible. Blah. :x)
Then, we went over to the Christmas tree and opened presents.
I appreciate all of the items I received (truly, I do, PROMISE) but I did not need any of them. So part of me is like, don't waste your money, I guess? Blah :x (2.0). (I sound like Dad.)
I don't want to be like this. Truly, I don't.
Last night, Mom and I went to our church's candlelight Christmas Eve service. I drove, though my eyesight still is not what it used to be in my right eye. :c But I/we survived, no one died.
I invited F and M to the service. F texted back that she would text me the day of re: if she is going or not; she didn't. M texted that she would be in Rock Hill, so that was a no go.
Back to today, I queried another agent about Burst. As I was doing so, however, I actually read through the first however many pages, and was like, wow, this is not as good as I thought. Maybe that's why no one is picking it up. :/
And yet and yet and yet, I have put SO much time into this novel, into this plot line, into this story. I don't want to just, give up on it, or something. And honestly, self-publishing kind of feels like giving up on it at this point. :c
(Also, originally I was going to write about that earlier in this post, but I kept forgetting. No huzzahs. :c Alas-es all around.)
((Also also, the characters are ALWAYS around me. Meine Passworten sind alle Charakteren meines Romans. [Aber my attempt at subterfuge is kind of irrelevant because there are so many words that are similar in German and English. {There's a word for that, but I can't think of it right now, and I don't feel like looking it up because laziness. Dx.}]))
Also also also, it is currently 2:30 and dinner is not until 5:30 because turkey. I just got off the phone with Uncle R and he said I could always have cookies or something. Ach. However, I am going to cut off this entry in any case.
Dear Lord,
Thank You SO much for sending Your Son to Earth for us. P to the T to the L for that.
Please bless the rest of today. Please bless the rest of this year. Please please bless 2016. Please grant me Your peace (which transcends ALL understanding usw) about the future. Because -I- may not know the future, but I do know the One who knows the future. Please give me the strength to keep holding on to that.
In Your Name, Lord,
Amen <3 p="">
I woke up at (what I believe was) a reasonable hour - before 9 AM. (It is my vacation time; cut me some slack, k?)
We (we being me and my family) actually sat around the table and ate breakfast together-ish.
(Side note/tangent - I feel as if I should be as thorough as possible in my descriptions because I want to be faithful to what actually happened, so in the previous statement, I wanted to add that technically, I got to the table first, then Mom came in after walking the dogs, then Dad joined us, but that's not super important, is it? And yet and yet and yet, because of all the whatnot that has gone down, I feel it IS important to be as truthful as possible. Blah. :x)
Then, we went over to the Christmas tree and opened presents.
I appreciate all of the items I received (truly, I do, PROMISE) but I did not need any of them. So part of me is like, don't waste your money, I guess? Blah :x (2.0). (I sound like Dad.)
I don't want to be like this. Truly, I don't.
Last night, Mom and I went to our church's candlelight Christmas Eve service. I drove, though my eyesight still is not what it used to be in my right eye. :c But I/we survived, no one died.
I invited F and M to the service. F texted back that she would text me the day of re: if she is going or not; she didn't. M texted that she would be in Rock Hill, so that was a no go.
Back to today, I queried another agent about Burst. As I was doing so, however, I actually read through the first however many pages, and was like, wow, this is not as good as I thought. Maybe that's why no one is picking it up. :/
And yet and yet and yet, I have put SO much time into this novel, into this plot line, into this story. I don't want to just, give up on it, or something. And honestly, self-publishing kind of feels like giving up on it at this point. :c
(Also, originally I was going to write about that earlier in this post, but I kept forgetting. No huzzahs. :c Alas-es all around.)
((Also also, the characters are ALWAYS around me. Meine Passworten sind alle Charakteren meines Romans. [Aber my attempt at subterfuge is kind of irrelevant because there are so many words that are similar in German and English. {There's a word for that, but I can't think of it right now, and I don't feel like looking it up because laziness. Dx.}]))
Also also also, it is currently 2:30 and dinner is not until 5:30 because turkey. I just got off the phone with Uncle R and he said I could always have cookies or something. Ach. However, I am going to cut off this entry in any case.
Dear Lord,
Thank You SO much for sending Your Son to Earth for us. P to the T to the L for that.
Please bless the rest of today. Please bless the rest of this year. Please please bless 2016. Please grant me Your peace (which transcends ALL understanding usw) about the future. Because -I- may not know the future, but I do know the One who knows the future. Please give me the strength to keep holding on to that.
In Your Name, Lord,
Amen <3 p="">
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
December 22 - Questioning
(Wow, three posts in one day, oh invisible reader?)
I am in the process of watching "Chopped Junior" -
UPDATE: One of the judges said something along the lines of "[Name], she's cooking, she's [blank]ing," so I guess [Name] is female.
I was going to talk/write about how I was unsure about the sex of one of the contestants. They use a name that isn't gender-specific, and I couldn't tell from their appearance for sure which sex they are. Like, (apparently, she) has long-ish hair, but her chest is rather flat and her voice is lower. HOWEVER, 1) guys can (and do) have long-ish hair sometimes, and 2) idk how old this female is. :/
But, what REALLY bothered me is that this even crossed my mind (let alone that this thought did not keep crossing). I let it sit in my mind for a fair amount of time.
No huzzahs. >:C
I feel/know that sexual orientations / identities / whatnots are NOT my forte. Like, I have a friend from high school who is a female, and she came out to me as pansexual (with a girlfriend).
Alsoalsoalso, my adopted little, A, identifies as asexual and she is living with another pansexual, B, in the dorms.
...
I truly do NOT want to have these thoughts flitting through my mind. Honestly. (I am happy to report that I didn't actually SAY anything re: this to my mom, sitting to my left. So kind of huzzahs for that. [I guess you could say huzz-es for that. xD])
Dear Lord,
Please help me with this issue. Please.
Thank you that nothing happened. Thank you that I stopped before I could say anything to Mom.
Please let me / enable me / whatnot me to love like You do, regardless of other whatnots.
(Thank You for knowing exactly what I mean by "whatnots," even if I don't know exactly what I mean.)
In Your name, Lord,
Amen <3 p="">
I am in the process of watching "Chopped Junior" -
UPDATE: One of the judges said something along the lines of "[Name], she's cooking, she's [blank]ing," so I guess [Name] is female.
I was going to talk/write about how I was unsure about the sex of one of the contestants. They use a name that isn't gender-specific, and I couldn't tell from their appearance for sure which sex they are. Like, (apparently, she) has long-ish hair, but her chest is rather flat and her voice is lower. HOWEVER, 1) guys can (and do) have long-ish hair sometimes, and 2) idk how old this female is. :/
But, what REALLY bothered me is that this even crossed my mind (let alone that this thought did not keep crossing). I let it sit in my mind for a fair amount of time.
No huzzahs. >:C
I feel/know that sexual orientations / identities / whatnots are NOT my forte. Like, I have a friend from high school who is a female, and she came out to me as pansexual (with a girlfriend).
Alsoalsoalso, my adopted little, A, identifies as asexual and she is living with another pansexual, B, in the dorms.
...
I truly do NOT want to have these thoughts flitting through my mind. Honestly. (I am happy to report that I didn't actually SAY anything re: this to my mom, sitting to my left. So kind of huzzahs for that. [I guess you could say huzz-es for that. xD])
Dear Lord,
Please help me with this issue. Please.
Thank you that nothing happened. Thank you that I stopped before I could say anything to Mom.
Please let me / enable me / whatnot me to love like You do, regardless of other whatnots.
(Thank You for knowing exactly what I mean by "whatnots," even if I don't know exactly what I mean.)
In Your name, Lord,
Amen <3 p="">
December 22 - User Error Pt. 2
UPDATE - My mother just called our insurance, and the woman on the other end said that my dependency status is still in effect until MY birthdate, the 29th. So huzzahs for that.
(I mean, no huzzahs for the error on the part of the person who filled out the info for my physical card, but huzzahs for the correct date being in the actual database.)
Thank You LORD! (So much <3 p="">
(I'm sorry that I keep worrying, even though You instruct us not to worry. Thank You again.)
(I mean, no huzzahs for the error on the part of the person who filled out the info for my physical card, but huzzahs for the correct date being in the actual database.)
Thank You LORD! (So much <3 p="">
(I'm sorry that I keep worrying, even though You instruct us not to worry. Thank You again.)
December 22 - User Error
So, it's three days before Christmas.
Dad has been really worried about insurance whatnots, considering that I am going to be turning 23 next year (GULP!). As such, if we don't get a letter from my neurologist asking for an extension on the insurance, our premiums are going to go up (for me, at least).
We went through this last year too. And, it turns out, the person who filled out the info for my new beneficiary card put Dad's birth date (day of the month) instead of mine. Hence, according to my card, I will no longer be receiving benefits after January 8th instead of January 29th.
It is super peeving (and stressful, etc, to say/write the least) that there is a possibility that we will be paying for someone else's mistake. (NO HUZZAHS. D:<)
...
Part of me is thinking, isn't that what Jesus did, though? He took the sins of the world on His shoulders, bearing the wrath of God, just so He could save our sorry little behinds.
...
Dear Lord,
Thank You for Your sacrifice. Thank You SO, SO much. I'm sorry I don't thank You more often. Seriously.
Please let Dr. K get the letter done. Please let the insurance approve of the extension once more.
Please grant this family peace no matter what the heck happens. You've got this; we just need to keep trusting in You.
In Your Name, Lord,
Amen <3 p="">
Dad has been really worried about insurance whatnots, considering that I am going to be turning 23 next year (GULP!). As such, if we don't get a letter from my neurologist asking for an extension on the insurance, our premiums are going to go up (for me, at least).
We went through this last year too. And, it turns out, the person who filled out the info for my new beneficiary card put Dad's birth date (day of the month) instead of mine. Hence, according to my card, I will no longer be receiving benefits after January 8th instead of January 29th.
It is super peeving (and stressful, etc, to say/write the least) that there is a possibility that we will be paying for someone else's mistake. (NO HUZZAHS. D:<)
...
Part of me is thinking, isn't that what Jesus did, though? He took the sins of the world on His shoulders, bearing the wrath of God, just so He could save our sorry little behinds.
...
Dear Lord,
Thank You for Your sacrifice. Thank You SO, SO much. I'm sorry I don't thank You more often. Seriously.
Please let Dr. K get the letter done. Please let the insurance approve of the extension once more.
Please grant this family peace no matter what the heck happens. You've got this; we just need to keep trusting in You.
In Your Name, Lord,
Amen <3 p="">
Sunday, December 20, 2015
December 20 - In Retrospect
I went to a birthday party the other day for a friend. At said party, another attendee brought up the possibility of exchanging our favorite books as Christmas presents. I thought to myself, I don't want to give up Inkheart and I don't really want to buy a new copy. (I also thought to myself, I don't really know this person that well, so idk if I even want to do a book swap with her. o3o)
However, I came home, went through my bookshelf, and found a book that I do like, but I would not mind giving up - Sleeping freshmen never lie, by David Lubar.
It's a book about a boy going into his freshman year of high school. I got it a long time ago, back when I was obsessed about high school. (This was after I was obsessed about middle school, haha.)
The book was published in 2005, a decade ago. (Wow.) You can tell. It's not super obvious, but there are some points.
For example, the speaker is addressing his unborn sibling, and he writes this - "You're gonna pay. Somehow. Maybe I can rent you out to a lab or something. Or auction off your stem cells" (165).
What with the whole StemExpress and abortion whatnots this past year and/or summer, I kind of blanched when I read that line. I don't believe the author is advocating for abortion though.
How can we even begin to understand or anticipate the future? Egads/no huzzahs/etc. (Absolutely NO gift horses. :C)
(Also, I considered giving her not a fan by Kyle Idleman, but I consulted Suzanne about that, and she suggested cultivating a deeper relationship with this person before doing something like that [religious/Christian]. Hence, sleeping freshmen.)
However, I came home, went through my bookshelf, and found a book that I do like, but I would not mind giving up - Sleeping freshmen never lie, by David Lubar.
It's a book about a boy going into his freshman year of high school. I got it a long time ago, back when I was obsessed about high school. (This was after I was obsessed about middle school, haha.)
The book was published in 2005, a decade ago. (Wow.) You can tell. It's not super obvious, but there are some points.
For example, the speaker is addressing his unborn sibling, and he writes this - "You're gonna pay. Somehow. Maybe I can rent you out to a lab or something. Or auction off your stem cells" (165).
What with the whole StemExpress and abortion whatnots this past year and/or summer, I kind of blanched when I read that line. I don't believe the author is advocating for abortion though.
How can we even begin to understand or anticipate the future? Egads/no huzzahs/etc. (Absolutely NO gift horses. :C)
(Also, I considered giving her not a fan by Kyle Idleman, but I consulted Suzanne about that, and she suggested cultivating a deeper relationship with this person before doing something like that [religious/Christian]. Hence, sleeping freshmen.)
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
December 9 - Miscellany
Let's see, today's news...
1) I am finished! (With fall semester of senior year of college, that is.)
So, inherent within that, I completed my final final exam today, for Brit Lit.
Huh to the zah. I wrote on my evaluation last year that no, I had no intentions of taking any more classes with Dr. B. And yet, and yet, and yet, there I was one year later, in Brit Lit I with her. (Originally, I had signed up for American Lit I and Personal Finance, but then I thought to myself, waitwaitwait, I should probably/REALLY do things I HAVE to get done, so I switched into Intro to Arts Management and Brit Lit I [Intro to Arts Management conflicting with American Lit I, you see].)
But yeah, but yeah, but yeah, I have an accommodation for extended time on tests, so I had four and a half hours for my final exam. I appreciate that I have that, but I kind of felt like I was... obligated to use up all of my time, so I wrote kind of/really/A LOT for the in-class essay. Fingers crossed about that. :)
(I also wrote on my evaluation that I thought I would get a B overall in the class. At the midterm, I had an A-, but I believe that was before my [failed] recitation [50/100] o3o. [Though, according to B, the psychologist, that will only be 5 points off my final grade, which makes sense because the score is worth 10% of the final grade.])
2) I (finally) realize what Mom meant about her distaste about my constant BM talk. :#
I texted H about if she wanted to go out for dinner after I wrapped up with Brit Lit. She replied with a near immediate YES (apparently she had to turn her power off), so we met up at Panera Bread.
I bought a noodle bowl, and stuff, and H said something about how I would feel really good tomorrow because of all the ruff-age. I thought to myself (and said) tmi. :/ (I said it in a joking way, and yet, I still felt it too. o3o)
(By the way, I would not recommend the Soba noodle bowl. Idk about the edamame bowl, but the soba one was kind of nasty/less than desirable imo. o3o)
I don't know if she has (m)any friends. Like, when I told Z and others about her, Z asked if she was that one. I was like... she's unique, I guess? Blargh. :/
3) I was about to write about how I was bummed because my friends were exchanging Christmas gifts but I didn't get any (though I'm not as much a part of that group of friends so yeah), but then but but then I gave Z her gift (a bag of Snickers) and she came back with a gift for me (my name in magnet letters). So huzzahs for that. c:
4) Speaking of huzzahs, two years ago today, I posted on Facebook that I would be on campus during Jan term, and I would be having lunch in Gee on January something-th. I was still going to outpatient therapy.
PTL for progress. :)
Dear Lord,
Thank you for this day. Thank you for all the blessings I have received.
Thank you that this semester is over.
Please give me peace about the future. (Please.)
Please bless this Christmas season. Please let my family get along. (Please.)
In Your Name, Lord,
Amen <3 p="">
1) I am finished! (With fall semester of senior year of college, that is.)
So, inherent within that, I completed my final final exam today, for Brit Lit.
Huh to the zah. I wrote on my evaluation last year that no, I had no intentions of taking any more classes with Dr. B. And yet, and yet, and yet, there I was one year later, in Brit Lit I with her. (Originally, I had signed up for American Lit I and Personal Finance, but then I thought to myself, waitwaitwait, I should probably/REALLY do things I HAVE to get done, so I switched into Intro to Arts Management and Brit Lit I [Intro to Arts Management conflicting with American Lit I, you see].)
But yeah, but yeah, but yeah, I have an accommodation for extended time on tests, so I had four and a half hours for my final exam. I appreciate that I have that, but I kind of felt like I was... obligated to use up all of my time, so I wrote kind of/really/A LOT for the in-class essay. Fingers crossed about that. :)
(I also wrote on my evaluation that I thought I would get a B overall in the class. At the midterm, I had an A-, but I believe that was before my [failed] recitation [50/100] o3o. [Though, according to B, the psychologist, that will only be 5 points off my final grade, which makes sense because the score is worth 10% of the final grade.])
2) I (finally) realize what Mom meant about her distaste about my constant BM talk. :#
I texted H about if she wanted to go out for dinner after I wrapped up with Brit Lit. She replied with a near immediate YES (apparently she had to turn her power off), so we met up at Panera Bread.
I bought a noodle bowl, and stuff, and H said something about how I would feel really good tomorrow because of all the ruff-age. I thought to myself (and said) tmi. :/ (I said it in a joking way, and yet, I still felt it too. o3o)
(By the way, I would not recommend the Soba noodle bowl. Idk about the edamame bowl, but the soba one was kind of nasty/less than desirable imo. o3o)
I don't know if she has (m)any friends. Like, when I told Z and others about her, Z asked if she was that one. I was like... she's unique, I guess? Blargh. :/
3) I was about to write about how I was bummed because my friends were exchanging Christmas gifts but I didn't get any (though I'm not as much a part of that group of friends so yeah), but then but but then I gave Z her gift (a bag of Snickers) and she came back with a gift for me (my name in magnet letters). So huzzahs for that. c:
4) Speaking of huzzahs, two years ago today, I posted on Facebook that I would be on campus during Jan term, and I would be having lunch in Gee on January something-th. I was still going to outpatient therapy.
PTL for progress. :)
Dear Lord,
Thank you for this day. Thank you for all the blessings I have received.
Thank you that this semester is over.
Please give me peace about the future. (Please.)
Please bless this Christmas season. Please let my family get along. (Please.)
In Your Name, Lord,
Amen <3 p="">
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
December 8 - Finals, Depression, and the GYM
Hello once more.
I hit the gym for the first time in WAY too long, and I think/know that exercise helps alleviate depression. Yes, it was only for half an hour, but STILL.
I have my last final tomorrow. It is the one I am the most worried about but honestly... I am not feeling like blogging tonight. Es tut mir leid.
(HOWEVER, I do have to blog daily as one of my New Year's resolutions. Idk if that will actually happen, but at least it's there.)
Good night. <3 p="">
I hit the gym for the first time in WAY too long, and I think/know that exercise helps alleviate depression. Yes, it was only for half an hour, but STILL.
I have my last final tomorrow. It is the one I am the most worried about but honestly... I am not feeling like blogging tonight. Es tut mir leid.
(HOWEVER, I do have to blog daily as one of my New Year's resolutions. Idk if that will actually happen, but at least it's there.)
Good night. <3 p="">
Saturday, November 28, 2015
November 28 - Minions
Hello once more.
I got back around half an hour ago from seeing the movie "Minions" with a friend from college (we were supposed to be roommates junior year, but then STUFF so she graduated last year, while I am a senior this year :x).
This was the third time we tried to see it, and, hey, look at that! We succeeded!
Honestly, I was not impressed.
("Son, I am disappoint" /outdated/outmoded meme o3o)
It was really silly. Like... we ended up watching it at the dollar theatre, and I am SO happy we didn't pay full price for it. :/
(I think) G thought it was great. I don't want to think less of her for her entertainment choices. :/(x2)
The main villain character was good, I guess. But still, blech overall.
...
o3o
I got back around half an hour ago from seeing the movie "Minions" with a friend from college (we were supposed to be roommates junior year, but then STUFF so she graduated last year, while I am a senior this year :x).
This was the third time we tried to see it, and, hey, look at that! We succeeded!
Honestly, I was not impressed.
("Son, I am disappoint" /outdated/outmoded meme o3o)
It was really silly. Like... we ended up watching it at the dollar theatre, and I am SO happy we didn't pay full price for it. :/
(I think) G thought it was great. I don't want to think less of her for her entertainment choices. :/(x2)
The main villain character was good, I guess. But still, blech overall.
...
o3o
Thursday, November 26, 2015
November 26 - Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving, invisible readers.
So, yeah. So yeah.
It is Thanksgiving today in the US. I need to focus on that. :c
I just got an email about my Pecha Kucha presentation I did for German lit the other day. I made an 86. I got full marks on information, but got points taken off for oral presentation and visuals. (M wrote something about wanting to see more German specific images.)
At first, I was rather miffed, because (I think) I have always received A's in Deutsch.
Then again, then again, then again, I was telling my mom the other day that I felt like M was too easy. :/
Mah.
Honestly, though, I didn't start working on it until the night before. I kind of, sort of, really took advantage of M's inclinations, thinking to myself that if I should do a terrible job, it wouldn't kill my grade (which it WON'T; the presentation was only worth 10% of the final grade, I believe.)
EVEN SO, I kind of, sort of, REALLY freaked out while I was working on it in the library. I was sitting in my normal spot, and I had to go to the bathroom at least 2 or 3 times because I was crying to myself.
I did not take an anti-anxiety med (though I do have them just in case).
It crossed my mind, crossed my mind, that it would be easier to overdose on the anti-anxiety meds take my life.
But then I was like, NO STOP THAT SELF. GOD WOULD NOT WANT YOU TO DO THAT.
(No huzzahs.)
((Also, if I HAD done that, what probably would have happened would have been this - the anti-anxiety whatnots would have kicked in; I would have been like, OH SH*T, WHAT HAVE I DONE?; I would have had to be rushed to the hospital, had my stomach pumped, been taken out of school. not finished this semester, und umsoweiter (Deutsch for 'and so on'.))) :/
(((BUT I DIDN'T -PTL- FOR THAT.)))
Dear Lord,
Thank you for this day. Thank you for Thanksgiving. Thank you for all of the blessings You have given me that I DO NOT deserve, and You gave me anyway. Please give me guidance about how to use them for Your glory, for Your fame, not mine.
Thank you for the existence of Lorazepam. Thank you that I did not need it the other day, but thank you for its existence.
Please keep me mentally strong. Please give me guidance about my future. Please help me keep my eyes fixed on You.
Please help me finish this semester strong. Please let me find my strength in You.
Please help me finish this race of my life on Your time, following Your will, Your GOOD, PERFECT will.
Please use me to be a light on C's ever darkening campus.
Please be with A. Please.
Please be with M. Please.
Please give me the words to represent You well. Please give me humility to face up and admit when I make mistakes, errors, usw.
Please give me sweet dreams tonight. Thank You once more for everything You have given me. Thank You SOSOSOSOSOSO much.
P to the T to the L.
<3 p="">Amen.
So, yeah. So yeah.
It is Thanksgiving today in the US. I need to focus on that. :c
I just got an email about my Pecha Kucha presentation I did for German lit the other day. I made an 86. I got full marks on information, but got points taken off for oral presentation and visuals. (M wrote something about wanting to see more German specific images.)
At first, I was rather miffed, because (I think) I have always received A's in Deutsch.
Then again, then again, then again, I was telling my mom the other day that I felt like M was too easy. :/
Mah.
Honestly, though, I didn't start working on it until the night before. I kind of, sort of, really took advantage of M's inclinations, thinking to myself that if I should do a terrible job, it wouldn't kill my grade (which it WON'T; the presentation was only worth 10% of the final grade, I believe.)
EVEN SO, I kind of, sort of, REALLY freaked out while I was working on it in the library. I was sitting in my normal spot, and I had to go to the bathroom at least 2 or 3 times because I was crying to myself.
I did not take an anti-anxiety med (though I do have them just in case).
But then I was like, NO STOP THAT SELF. GOD WOULD NOT WANT YOU TO DO THAT.
(No huzzahs.)
((Also, if I HAD done that, what probably would have happened would have been this - the anti-anxiety whatnots would have kicked in; I would have been like, OH SH*T, WHAT HAVE I DONE?; I would have had to be rushed to the hospital, had my stomach pumped, been taken out of school. not finished this semester, und umsoweiter (Deutsch for 'and so on'.))) :/
(((BUT I DIDN'T -PTL- FOR THAT.)))
Dear Lord,
Thank you for this day. Thank you for Thanksgiving. Thank you for all of the blessings You have given me that I DO NOT deserve, and You gave me anyway. Please give me guidance about how to use them for Your glory, for Your fame, not mine.
Thank you for the existence of Lorazepam. Thank you that I did not need it the other day, but thank you for its existence.
Please keep me mentally strong. Please give me guidance about my future. Please help me keep my eyes fixed on You.
Please help me finish this semester strong. Please let me find my strength in You.
Please help me finish this race of my life on Your time, following Your will, Your GOOD, PERFECT will.
Please use me to be a light on C's ever darkening campus.
Please be with A. Please.
Please be with M. Please.
Please give me the words to represent You well. Please give me humility to face up and admit when I make mistakes, errors, usw.
Please give me sweet dreams tonight. Thank You once more for everything You have given me. Thank You SOSOSOSOSOSO much.
P to the T to the L.
<3 p="">Amen.
Monday, November 23, 2015
November 23 - Adulting with TBI
So, I am a TBI survivor (I used to say "TBI victim," but my psychologist emphasized the importance of diction [word choice for non-English majors o3o]).
Yes, I went through a Traumatic Brain Injury. And yes, I am doing SO MUCH BETTER than I was.
However, however, however, I still have STUFF going on related to it. (Like the ETERNAL FEAR of incontinence [both of urine and bowels Dx].)
Also, I am INCREDIBLY emotionally fragile. Like, I keep second-guessing myself (constantly).
I am going to graduate in less than a year (EEK). I am going to have to FREAKING ADULT (which is a TERRIFYING prospect). Yes, I know adulting would be terrifying even without the TBI, but with it... eek.
Alas/egads/no huzzahs/gift horse/etc.
So, for example, my diction ranges from very educated (ie - diction, syntax, etc) to so... not (adulting, emoticons [Dx/xD], etc).
I know that forgetfulness is not just a TBI thing. Like, I KNOW that. Butbutbut, because of all the CRAP that happened, I am SO much more sensitive to it. :/
(And, in other news, an article I read today -
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-smart-people-act-so-stupid-dr-travis-bradberry?trk=eml-b2_content_ecosystem_digest-recommended_articles-55-null&midToken=AQH8z6gIjVvVTA&fromEmail=fromEmail&ut=08jMRF_7L9kn01)Dear God,
Please be with me. Please heal me, emotionally and physically. Please let my eye heal back to its previous normal. (:c)
Please mend any relationship whatnots with Z. I know I don't want (nor do I think she wants) there to be this friction between us. Please give me the right words to say at the right time. Please help Z choose her own words more carefully so as to be more sensitive. :/
Please be with M, her unborn child, and C with his N and O. Please Lord. Please be with Dr. G and her friend in hospice and her friend's child. Please, oh please.
Please enable me to be a light in this dark world, pointing people to You, NOT away.
Please help me get through the rest of this semester well.
Please give me Your peace about the future. Please help me keep my eyes fixed on You, not the whatnots of this world.
In Your Name,
Amen.
/finfornow
Saturday, November 21, 2015
November 21 - Basic
So, I was out for a long time and got behind on stuff that I used to keep up with. TV shows for example (Legend of Korra, Castle, etc). Also, MEMES.
Like, when I came back to my school, I felt SO behind with this sort of thing.
Take the word "basic" for example. I finally got a definition, and I think (KNOW) that one of my apartment mates fits the stereotype.
L wears leggings as pants. She speaks in a "basic" way.
I really don't want to think less of her for it. Like, she was on my list of potential littles last year. (I'm really happy I didn't get her as one of my littles, though, because I don't know how I would have reacted to taking classes with her and her getting married before me. :/)
But yeah, I can feel myself slipping into being "basic" as well. For example, right now I am sitting in the campus... food store, of sorts, in which there is a Starbucks.
I NEVER used to drink Starbucks before, but now that my college changed their policy concerning Flexdollars (so now we can only use it on food items), I have been indulging in (decaf) Starbucks WAY too frequently. :/ No huzzahs. (I DO NOT WANT TO GAIN ALL THAT WEIGHT BACK. Dx)
((Also also also, "basic" is another [negative imo] word that begins [!] with B o3o.))
Blah. (!)
Like, when I came back to my school, I felt SO behind with this sort of thing.
Take the word "basic" for example. I finally got a definition, and I think (KNOW) that one of my apartment mates fits the stereotype.
L wears leggings as pants. She speaks in a "basic" way.
I really don't want to think less of her for it. Like, she was on my list of potential littles last year. (I'm really happy I didn't get her as one of my littles, though, because I don't know how I would have reacted to taking classes with her and her getting married before me. :/)
But yeah, I can feel myself slipping into being "basic" as well. For example, right now I am sitting in the campus... food store, of sorts, in which there is a Starbucks.
I NEVER used to drink Starbucks before, but now that my college changed their policy concerning Flexdollars (so now we can only use it on food items), I have been indulging in (decaf) Starbucks WAY too frequently. :/ No huzzahs. (I DO NOT WANT TO GAIN ALL THAT WEIGHT BACK. Dx)
((Also also also, "basic" is another [negative imo] word that begins [!] with B o3o.))
Blah. (!)
Friday, November 20, 2015
November 20 - B's
Hello once more.
I am officially taking a break from homework (EGADS BRIT LIT) to write this blog. Huzzahs to that.
I have a running list of possible blog topics. (So I don't forget them, you see.)
The letter "B" has attained much more meaning to me recently than I realized, upon which I want to use this blog post to reflect.
1 - "Brain biopsy" is a phrase that has two words, both starting with Bs.
2 - Before said procedure, I was (as aforementioned) incredibly angry/distraught/whatnot about the B I received in Fiction Workshop. A little more than a year later (as also aforementioned), I was jubilant over receiving the B in General Psych.
3 - Back to the letter itself - also, BI and BM are two phrases that come up far too often. They just might be motifs in my life, currently. (Though they are different in that the "B"s each stand for a different word, "brain" and "bowel." [OMG TMI.])
Okay, now on to some good "B" whatnots.
B - Buoyancy (I did a "Happify" activity today, and in the activity you had to select the positive words. Buoyancy came up a number of times, so huzzahs to that.)
B - Blink - huzzahs for this reflex. It's automatic (so we don't think about it), it has an incredibly important function (keeping one's eyes from drying out), and, best of all, it's free! /salesperson
B - Bug. (From Starkid's play, Starship.) Bug is the main character who just wants to be a Starship ranger... but that's a different story. Anyway, huzzahs to Bug.
B - bugs. (As in insects.) Bees (hey look, another B word!) pollinate flowers; ants are used in Proverbs to show the benefits of hard work; etc.
B - Birds. Huzzahs for birds! There are some tweeting outside right now.
B - Boots. I love my pair of booties. (They need to be replaced kind of, sort of soon, but I love them.)
B - Bop. The noise Erin, Gina's little, makes when she pats her on the head.
B - Brunch. That wonderful meal on Saturday mornings. (Not the cafeteria's brunch; just brunch in general.)
(Let's see - that's a bunch [LOOK AT THAT] of "bu" words. Let's amend that.)
B - Ballet. While not MY thing, some people enjoy it, either doing it or watching it.
B - Beds. (DEFINITELY my thing. All the huzzahs for beds.) Even my college provided bed is nice. :)
B - Binders. They hold stuff. o3o
B - Bong. The noise a bell (LOOK AT THAT 2.0!) a makes when it's rung with something not quite metal.
(And on that note -)
B - Bells. Especially church bells.
Dear God,
Thank you for this day. Thank you for everything you have blessed (!) me with. I am sorry I don't recognize Your blessings clearly/often enough. Please open my eyes to see all the ways you have so graciously provided for me.
Please, dear Lord, be with the refugees fleeing from Syria. Please be with all the expectant mothers out there who are considering abortion for whatever reason. Please be with M as she expects her own child. (And please help me/empower me/etc me/whatnot to support her and C through this time despite all the other whatnots.)
In Your Name, Lord,
Amen
I am officially taking a break from homework (EGADS BRIT LIT) to write this blog. Huzzahs to that.
I have a running list of possible blog topics. (So I don't forget them, you see.)
The letter "B" has attained much more meaning to me recently than I realized, upon which I want to use this blog post to reflect.
1 - "Brain biopsy" is a phrase that has two words, both starting with Bs.
2 - Before said procedure, I was (as aforementioned) incredibly angry/distraught/whatnot about the B I received in Fiction Workshop. A little more than a year later (as also aforementioned), I was jubilant over receiving the B in General Psych.
3 - Back to the letter itself - also, BI and BM are two phrases that come up far too often. They just might be motifs in my life, currently. (Though they are different in that the "B"s each stand for a different word, "brain" and "bowel." [OMG TMI.])
Okay, now on to some good "B" whatnots.
B - Buoyancy (I did a "Happify" activity today, and in the activity you had to select the positive words. Buoyancy came up a number of times, so huzzahs to that.)
B - Blink - huzzahs for this reflex. It's automatic (so we don't think about it), it has an incredibly important function (keeping one's eyes from drying out), and, best of all, it's free! /salesperson
B - Bug. (From Starkid's play, Starship.) Bug is the main character who just wants to be a Starship ranger... but that's a different story. Anyway, huzzahs to Bug.
B - bugs. (As in insects.) Bees (hey look, another B word!) pollinate flowers; ants are used in Proverbs to show the benefits of hard work; etc.
B - Birds. Huzzahs for birds! There are some tweeting outside right now.
B - Boots. I love my pair of booties. (They need to be replaced kind of, sort of soon, but I love them.)
B - Bop. The noise Erin, Gina's little, makes when she pats her on the head.
B - Brunch. That wonderful meal on Saturday mornings. (Not the cafeteria's brunch; just brunch in general.)
(Let's see - that's a bunch [LOOK AT THAT] of "bu" words. Let's amend that.)
B - Ballet. While not MY thing, some people enjoy it, either doing it or watching it.
B - Beds. (DEFINITELY my thing. All the huzzahs for beds.) Even my college provided bed is nice. :)
B - Binders. They hold stuff. o3o
B - Bong. The noise a bell (LOOK AT THAT 2.0!) a makes when it's rung with something not quite metal.
(And on that note -)
B - Bells. Especially church bells.
Dear God,
Thank you for this day. Thank you for everything you have blessed (!) me with. I am sorry I don't recognize Your blessings clearly/often enough. Please open my eyes to see all the ways you have so graciously provided for me.
Please, dear Lord, be with the refugees fleeing from Syria. Please be with all the expectant mothers out there who are considering abortion for whatever reason. Please be with M as she expects her own child. (And please help me/empower me/etc me/whatnot to support her and C through this time despite all the other whatnots.)
In Your Name, Lord,
Amen
Thursday, November 12, 2015
November 12
Hello again.
So, medical whatnots, right? I had a brain bleed during summer 2013 (June 24th, in fact - I have it on my calendar). Because of the brain bleed, I've been recovering from short-term memory loss.
It hit me over the head (again) today the enormity of what that entailed, I guess.
I started at my current college during Jan term of my freshman year. I started my college career in a level 300 course (Fitzgerald and the Jazz Age - ENG 380), which I did well in - I made an A. At the time, however, I had ALWAYS gotten A's, so nbd, right?
Let's see... a year and a half later, I received my first B since middle school, I believe. It was in ENG 393 - Creative Writing Fiction, which I had always considered my personal forte, writing (especially fiction).
I know that I was SO MAD at the professor, the situation, all of that... jazz (xD) when I received that grade.
Who knew that a little bit over a year later, I would be REJOICING (hallezuiah-ing o3o) over a B in General Psychology (PSY 100)?
You see (err - read o3o) in the time between those two summers, I had to relearn how to walk, talk, write (my gosh, my handwriting was bad initially xD/Dx [though my mother would say it is still bad/has always been bad o3o]), feed myself, etc. (Sorry for the extended tangent there...)
ANYWAY.
I have come so. freaking. far. Hu-freaking-zah. P to the T to the L.
Yes, I still make errors. For example, when I got ready for bed, I had forgotten that I still had my nightclothes from last night in my closet for me to wear again. However, I am happy to report that I did not beat myself up over it - I simply switched my clothing around. My previous psychologist (Dr. G) said that I am much more sensitive to anything related to memory now.
Yes, I still have mobility issues. (According to my dad, I still walk like a stroke victim when I'm tired. :/) But hey, but hey, I was in the STROKE WARD for a while, wasn't I? (I have NO RECOLLECTION, but that's what my parents have said.)
Even in the span of a year - this time last year, I had a checklist next to my pill organizer so that I could see if I had taken my AM and PM meds. (Yes, that's the point of the organizer itself [THANK YOU CVS], but it was an extra checkpoint, I guess.) A year and a half ago, when I refilled my pill organizer, my mom had to check after me to make sure that I had not forgotten any.
(I know I had talked to Dr. G about the B in Fiction, and she said it was probably a good thing, because it happened BEFORE all the medical whatnots. At first, I was like "mk, maybe, yeah" but now, I'm like "OMG YES."
(Psst - spoiler alert - B's will not kill you [though they do begin both words in the phrase "brain bleed" xD.)
Dear God,
I am so sorry for not being willing to see how much you have blessed me. Please forgive me. Please empower/enable me to use this experience to help and/or inspire others.
Please give me peace and direction about the future. I know I read it somewhere, so I'm not taking credit for it, but still - I may not know what the future holds, but I do know Who holds the future.
(All the huzzahs to that. <3 p="">
In Your Name, Lord,
Amen
So, medical whatnots, right? I had a brain bleed during summer 2013 (June 24th, in fact - I have it on my calendar). Because of the brain bleed, I've been recovering from short-term memory loss.
It hit me over the head (again) today the enormity of what that entailed, I guess.
I started at my current college during Jan term of my freshman year. I started my college career in a level 300 course (Fitzgerald and the Jazz Age - ENG 380), which I did well in - I made an A. At the time, however, I had ALWAYS gotten A's, so nbd, right?
Let's see... a year and a half later, I received my first B since middle school, I believe. It was in ENG 393 - Creative Writing Fiction, which I had always considered my personal forte, writing (especially fiction).
I know that I was SO MAD at the professor, the situation, all of that... jazz (xD) when I received that grade.
Who knew that a little bit over a year later, I would be REJOICING (hallezuiah-ing o3o) over a B in General Psychology (PSY 100)?
You see (err - read o3o) in the time between those two summers, I had to relearn how to walk, talk, write (my gosh, my handwriting was bad initially xD/Dx [though my mother would say it is still bad/has always been bad o3o]), feed myself, etc. (Sorry for the extended tangent there...)
ANYWAY.
I have come so. freaking. far. Hu-freaking-zah. P to the T to the L.
Yes, I still make errors. For example, when I got ready for bed, I had forgotten that I still had my nightclothes from last night in my closet for me to wear again. However, I am happy to report that I did not beat myself up over it - I simply switched my clothing around. My previous psychologist (Dr. G) said that I am much more sensitive to anything related to memory now.
Yes, I still have mobility issues. (According to my dad, I still walk like a stroke victim when I'm tired. :/) But hey, but hey, I was in the STROKE WARD for a while, wasn't I? (I have NO RECOLLECTION, but that's what my parents have said.)
Even in the span of a year - this time last year, I had a checklist next to my pill organizer so that I could see if I had taken my AM and PM meds. (Yes, that's the point of the organizer itself [THANK YOU CVS], but it was an extra checkpoint, I guess.) A year and a half ago, when I refilled my pill organizer, my mom had to check after me to make sure that I had not forgotten any.
(I know I had talked to Dr. G about the B in Fiction, and she said it was probably a good thing, because it happened BEFORE all the medical whatnots. At first, I was like "mk, maybe, yeah" but now, I'm like "OMG YES."
(Psst - spoiler alert - B's will not kill you [though they do begin both words in the phrase "brain bleed" xD.)
Dear God,
I am so sorry for not being willing to see how much you have blessed me. Please forgive me. Please empower/enable me to use this experience to help and/or inspire others.
Please give me peace and direction about the future. I know I read it somewhere, so I'm not taking credit for it, but still - I may not know what the future holds, but I do know Who holds the future.
(All the huzzahs to that. <3 p="">
In Your Name, Lord,
Amen
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
November 10
Hello once more.
Today, I went to a MASC meeting (Manga, Anime, Sci-fi, Comics [club]), because (alas) BCM couldn't meet tonight because of medical whatnots. :/
At MASC, we watched a bunch of YouTube videos re: video games (basically play-throughs). I thought to myself, wow, I can see how/why Mom didn't exactly love me playing video games when I was younger. (Honestly, it felt childish. o3o)
Eek, I feel old. :x No huzzahs.
At the same time, part of me... longed (?) to go back to that simpler time, and then my frontal cortex (or whatever part of the brain deals with adulting) was like, yeah, nope, you are past that my friend.
So... huzzas? (Huzzah+Alas?) I have no idea. xD
Today, I went to a MASC meeting (Manga, Anime, Sci-fi, Comics [club]), because (alas) BCM couldn't meet tonight because of medical whatnots. :/
At MASC, we watched a bunch of YouTube videos re: video games (basically play-throughs). I thought to myself, wow, I can see how/why Mom didn't exactly love me playing video games when I was younger. (Honestly, it felt childish. o3o)
Eek, I feel old. :x No huzzahs.
At the same time, part of me... longed (?) to go back to that simpler time, and then my frontal cortex (or whatever part of the brain deals with adulting) was like, yeah, nope, you are past that my friend.
So... huzzas? (Huzzah+Alas?) I have no idea. xD
Saturday, November 7, 2015
November 7
Hello again.
Today has been an up/down sort of day.
I went to Haus Heidelberg with Dad, Mom, and Jenni today (so up for that).
However, Dad did a whole bunch of complaining about the South (and basically the state of the world in general). So down for that. :(
In other news, I did my German senior seminar public presentation last Thursday (up).
I had some champagne tonight at the 1889 dance (up [?]).
However, I did not stay at the dance long (like only 20 minutes) because, frankly, it felt like a redux of high school prom (down), and I didn't know many of the people there (down).
(However, however, apparently "redux" is an adjective, not a noun as I thought, so I used it incorrectly in the prior sentence. Alas. :/)
I emailed Dr. D the other day about whatnots, but he/his email got auto-replied to with an out-of-office message.
...
Two years ago, I believe I was either in inpatient therapy or waiting on TriCare to approve outpatient therapy. Now, I am walking, talking, squawking, driving, and making A's and B's in college level courses.
...
BUT... what the hey will I be doing a year hence? What then?
...
About homosexuality - I want to love other people, not hate them/look down on them/JUDGE THEM. Honestly, I don't. But it's so hard what with my parents and THEIR beliefs. No huzzahs. (Also, no huzzahs for me kindofsortofreally blaming my parents for my problems. NOT EVEN A HUZZ.)
...
My memory has improved SO much. Andyetandyetandyet, I keep second guessing myself. :/
...
Dear God,
Thank You for this day. Thank You for all the blessings You have so graciously bestowed on me, when I don't deserve a single one. Thank You SOSOSOSOSO much.
Please help me. Please help me spend my time better, to spend it how You would want me to spend it.
Please give me the words to say when I talk to others. Please help me be a good president of BCM. Please help me be a good representative of YOU (which should have come first, shouldn't it?)
Thank You for sticking with me. Thank You sosososososososososossososossosossossossssoososossossooosssooooo much. Like, for reals.
In Your Name, Lord,
Amen. <3 p="">
Today has been an up/down sort of day.
I went to Haus Heidelberg with Dad, Mom, and Jenni today (so up for that).
However, Dad did a whole bunch of complaining about the South (and basically the state of the world in general). So down for that. :(
In other news, I did my German senior seminar public presentation last Thursday (up).
I had some champagne tonight at the 1889 dance (up [?]).
However, I did not stay at the dance long (like only 20 minutes) because, frankly, it felt like a redux of high school prom (down), and I didn't know many of the people there (down).
(However, however, apparently "redux" is an adjective, not a noun as I thought, so I used it incorrectly in the prior sentence. Alas. :/)
I emailed Dr. D the other day about whatnots, but he/his email got auto-replied to with an out-of-office message.
...
Two years ago, I believe I was either in inpatient therapy or waiting on TriCare to approve outpatient therapy. Now, I am walking, talking, squawking, driving, and making A's and B's in college level courses.
...
BUT... what the hey will I be doing a year hence? What then?
...
About homosexuality - I want to love other people, not hate them/look down on them/JUDGE THEM. Honestly, I don't. But it's so hard what with my parents and THEIR beliefs. No huzzahs. (Also, no huzzahs for me kindofsortofreally blaming my parents for my problems. NOT EVEN A HUZZ.)
...
My memory has improved SO much. Andyetandyetandyet, I keep second guessing myself. :/
...
Dear God,
Thank You for this day. Thank You for all the blessings You have so graciously bestowed on me, when I don't deserve a single one. Thank You SOSOSOSOSO much.
Please help me. Please help me spend my time better, to spend it how You would want me to spend it.
Please give me the words to say when I talk to others. Please help me be a good president of BCM. Please help me be a good representative of YOU (which should have come first, shouldn't it?)
Thank You for sticking with me. Thank You sosososososososososossososossosossossossssoososossossooosssooooo much. Like, for reals.
In Your Name, Lord,
Amen. <3 p="">
Friday, November 6, 2015
November 6
Hello imaginary readers once more. This post shall be a miscellany post, a potpourri post, if you will.
I went to dance and skit night tonight and was drafted into doing the skit with the seniors (of whose class I am technically a part because of the year of medical leave). The skit was something about who the next president of Converse would be, and the people running for Converse president were Donald Trump (A), Hilary Clinton, and Pantera (the pink panther mascot for even numbered years).
One, A had on a hilarious wig, so she was quite funny. Two, at the end of the skit, we (the audience [both on stage and off]) were supposed to cheer for whoever we wanted to be the next president of Converse next. No one cheered for Trump, there was a kind of sort of reaction to Hilary, and then thunderous applause for Pantera (which I knew was what the other seniors wanted).
[As a side note, I have noticed that attention still appears to be something I lack/am not great at as of right now. Like, in the above paragraph, I started off with "One" then moved on to "B." No huzzahs. :/]
{Also, I forgot to close my parentheses TWICE.}
Also, at skit night (which I believe is the first I have ever attended at Converse, due to medical whatnots through the years), each class also did a dance. (I did NOT partake in that one. Dx) A/Trump-minus-the-wig danced a mean worm. It made me sad. I thought to myself, -I- used to do be able to do the worm (yes, a SUPER long time ago, but still), -I- used to be an athlete (volleyball) [A runs cross country]. It was really hard for me not to be jealous, resentful, angry at God, etc. No huzzahs. :/
Also also, (as also aforementioned) my college has this whole Red Devils vs Pink Panthers thing, where the Red Devils are students from classes graduating during odd numbered years (like 2015 [my original graduation year]) and Pink Panthers are from odd-graduation-year classes. I KNOW I shouldn't care; I have much MUCH larger concerns right now. :x
In other news, I had another dose of Cytoxan today. In other, other news, it appears that I had a relapse from the stress of starting school again combined with stress from the possibility of Dad losing his job. In other, other, other news, I went to an ophthalmologist yesterday (wow, that is one INTENSE word; I had to consult a search engine about its spelling, HA), described my symptoms, what was going on/had been going on, and he said that he has doubts about the likelihood of my eyesight going back to what it was.
...
I am still dealing with that possibility. Honestly, I was kind of thinking something along the lines of that before he told me that, but it was definitely a major blow to consider my sight not improving beyond what it currently is. :C (An emoticon is unable to adequately convey the depth and intensity of my feelings, but it will have to do currently.)
Also, the ophthalmologist talked about a new disease https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuromyelitis_optica. I had seen him in the past, back when we thought I had MS. So, my mom and I will bring that up when I see my neurologist next (speaking of which, I need to reschedule that appointment, don't I? Alas/egads/gift horse ADULTING. Dx)
Mah. I don't want to be this tired at only ten PM, but I have had a long day (and long week). I got my grade back for my recitation, and I made a 50 out of 100. :x That was worth 10% of my final grade. :/ Also, I'm pretty sure I bombed today's quiz because of all of the dates. (So, yet again, NO. HUZZAHS.)
I seriously want/need to go to bed soon. So -I- am going to peace out for tonight. Tschüss!
I went to dance and skit night tonight and was drafted into doing the skit with the seniors (of whose class I am technically a part because of the year of medical leave). The skit was something about who the next president of Converse would be, and the people running for Converse president were Donald Trump (A), Hilary Clinton, and Pantera (the pink panther mascot for even numbered years).
One, A had on a hilarious wig, so she was quite funny. Two, at the end of the skit, we (the audience [both on stage and off]) were supposed to cheer for whoever we wanted to be the next president of Converse next. No one cheered for Trump, there was a kind of sort of reaction to Hilary, and then thunderous applause for Pantera (which I knew was what the other seniors wanted).
[As a side note, I have noticed that attention still appears to be something I lack/am not great at as of right now. Like, in the above paragraph, I started off with "One" then moved on to "B." No huzzahs. :/]
{Also, I forgot to close my parentheses TWICE.
Also, at skit night (which I believe is the first I have ever attended at Converse, due to medical whatnots through the years), each class also did a dance. (I did NOT partake in that one. Dx) A/Trump-minus-the-wig danced a mean worm. It made me sad. I thought to myself, -I- used to do be able to do the worm (yes, a SUPER long time ago, but still), -I- used to be an athlete (volleyball) [A runs cross country]. It was really hard for me not to be jealous, resentful, angry at God, etc. No huzzahs. :/
Also also, (as also aforementioned) my college has this whole Red Devils vs Pink Panthers thing, where the Red Devils are students from classes graduating during odd numbered years (like 2015 [my original graduation year]) and Pink Panthers are from odd-graduation-year classes. I KNOW I shouldn't care; I have much MUCH larger concerns right now. :x
In other news, I had another dose of Cytoxan today. In other, other news, it appears that I had a relapse from the stress of starting school again combined with stress from the possibility of Dad losing his job. In other, other, other news, I went to an ophthalmologist yesterday (wow, that is one INTENSE word; I had to consult a search engine about its spelling, HA), described my symptoms, what was going on/had been going on, and he said that he has doubts about the likelihood of my eyesight going back to what it was.
...
I am still dealing with that possibility. Honestly, I was kind of thinking something along the lines of that before he told me that, but it was definitely a major blow to consider my sight not improving beyond what it currently is. :C (An emoticon is unable to adequately convey the depth and intensity of my feelings, but it will have to do currently.)
Also, the ophthalmologist talked about a new disease https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuromyelitis_optica. I had seen him in the past, back when we thought I had MS. So, my mom and I will bring that up when I see my neurologist next (speaking of which, I need to reschedule that appointment, don't I? Alas/egads/gift horse ADULTING. Dx)
Mah. I don't want to be this tired at only ten PM, but I have had a long day (and long week). I got my grade back for my recitation, and I made a 50 out of 100. :x That was worth 10% of my final grade. :/ Also, I'm pretty sure I bombed today's quiz because of all of the dates. (So, yet again, NO. HUZZAHS.)
I seriously want/need to go to bed soon. So -I- am going to peace out for tonight. Tschüss!
Monday, November 2, 2015
Rant (2.0)
Hello once more.
(WARNING - I HAD AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF SUGAR IN MY DIET TODAY, AND THEREFORE, AM EVEN MORE EMOTIONAL THAN "NORMAL.")
I need to get a grip of myself. I need to trust in God more. I want to not be so needy, to not be so unsure of myself.
(I also want more people to donate to my fundraising page [http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/jennifer-palmer-8/2015-run-for-thought], but ik that not everyone is able/wants to/etc, and I NEED to respect that. o3o)
I want my apartment mate to put up her clean dishes. It's been what, two/three days? D:
I want my apartment mates to get their acts together. Like, I want whoever it is who keeps leaving crumbs on the floor to clean up after herself.
I want my apartment mates to figure out how to properly use the stove/oven. Apparently, one of them set off the fire alarm today. Like, Z sent me a text re: ME in the kitchen, and how she and C would rather I not use the communal utensils or wash communal dishes/utensils because they don't like how -I- wash things. At least -I- haven't set off a fire alarm. (Then again, I wasn't there when it happened, so I'm not sure how/what exactly happened. When I talked about it at dinner, one of my table mates talked about how they [my apartment mates] needed to use the vent fan above the stove, which -I- already knew. And I don't know if that's actually what caused it, or if the stove/oven is messed up like C and Z think. D:)
-I- need to eat less and start going to the gym again. -I- need to finish my bleeping German Senior Sem presentation. -I- need to get off this grawlix prednisone. Egads, alas, no huzzahs, Dx.
...
I need to be more grateful for all the good things in my life.
...
Thank you, God, for sticking with me even when I have doubted You. Thank you, God, for giving me life. Thank you, God, for giving me the capacity to attain an advanced education, more than my parents. Thank you, God, for allowing me to live in America, because goodness knows I'd probably be dead if I lived in almost anywhere else in this world.
Please give me the words to say to Z, to C (maybe). If/when.
Please don't let me be judgmental toward them (or anyone, really).
Please be with M and her unborn child. Please. Please, Lord.
Please calm this raging child of yours (psst, anyone who's reading this - I'm writing about me o3o). Please grant her Your peace, even an INKLING of Your strength.
Please and thank you, Lord.
In Your Name, Amen. <3 p="">
(WARNING - I HAD AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF SUGAR IN MY DIET TODAY, AND THEREFORE, AM EVEN MORE EMOTIONAL THAN "NORMAL.")
I need to get a grip of myself. I need to trust in God more. I want to not be so needy, to not be so unsure of myself.
(I also want more people to donate to my fundraising page [http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/jennifer-palmer-8/2015-run-for-thought], but ik that not everyone is able/wants to/etc, and I NEED to respect that. o3o)
I want my apartment mate to put up her clean dishes. It's been what, two/three days? D:
I want my apartment mates to get their acts together. Like, I want whoever it is who keeps leaving crumbs on the floor to clean up after herself.
I want my apartment mates to figure out how to properly use the stove/oven. Apparently, one of them set off the fire alarm today. Like, Z sent me a text re: ME in the kitchen, and how she and C would rather I not use the communal utensils or wash communal dishes/utensils because they don't like how -I- wash things. At least -I- haven't set off a fire alarm. (Then again, I wasn't there when it happened, so I'm not sure how/what exactly happened. When I talked about it at dinner, one of my table mates talked about how they [my apartment mates] needed to use the vent fan above the stove, which -I- already knew. And I don't know if that's actually what caused it, or if the stove/oven is messed up like C and Z think. D:)
-I- need to eat less and start going to the gym again. -I- need to finish my bleeping German Senior Sem presentation. -I- need to get off this grawlix prednisone. Egads, alas, no huzzahs, Dx.
...
I need to be more grateful for all the good things in my life.
...
Thank you, God, for sticking with me even when I have doubted You. Thank you, God, for giving me life. Thank you, God, for giving me the capacity to attain an advanced education, more than my parents. Thank you, God, for allowing me to live in America, because goodness knows I'd probably be dead if I lived in almost anywhere else in this world.
Please give me the words to say to Z, to C (maybe). If/when.
Please don't let me be judgmental toward them (or anyone, really).
Please be with M and her unborn child. Please. Please, Lord.
Please calm this raging child of yours (psst, anyone who's reading this - I'm writing about me o3o). Please grant her Your peace, even an INKLING of Your strength.
Please and thank you, Lord.
In Your Name, Amen. <3 p="">
Monday, October 26, 2015
RANT
BLOG POST - 10/23/15
(Whatnot prevented me from posting it on this date, however. Idk if I’ll ever post it. o3o [EDIT - I am biting the bullet and posting it, three days later. o3o])
Hello again.
As the title says, this will be a rant. So read or don't read (not that I think I have any readers, HA) at your discretion.
For starters, I am having issues with my friends. One of them said something earlier today while we were at Walmart, about a woman parking in handicapped parking - "She doesn't look like she needs it."
I talked to her about it afterward, about how there exist "invisible disabilities" and whatnot. I'm not sure if she truly understood. She said something about how she didn't know if the woman should be driving if she had a handicap, or something.
I personally have a handicap placard. It expires in 2017, and I have no intention of trying to get it renewed as of right now. (I sure hope I will no longer need it at that point [heck, I barely need it now]). HOWEVER, I DEFINITELY needed it when I first got it. (Alsoalsoalso, I use it in the senior apartment parking because [my logic, at least, says that] most college age students don't need handicap parking, and if I park there, that opens up another spot to someone else who DOESN'T have a placard and would appreciate a spot. There are two handicapped spots in the senior apartment parking lot, and usually the other spot is open, so yeah. BUT, H kind of made me feel bad about it. ALAS/NO HUZZAHS/ETC :x )
What REALLY bugs me about this is that I really like this girl/woman. She is (normally) a ray of sunshine in a dark world. Also, she is a Christian, and I don't believe that was very Christian of her. (Ik, ik, just because someone is Christian doesn't mean they will act Christ-like. GOODNESS KNOWS I know that and [unfortunately] show it in my own life far too often [see the post I am writing Dx]).
Second, I am having difficulties with one of my apartment mates. My mom always told me to stay in the room while something was on the stove. Earlier today, Z left the apartment (not just the room - the apartment) with something on the stove. I thought to myself, EEK/Egads/Etc and (I believe) I kind of stood nearby or something until she came back. Once she came back, I told her my thoughts on the subject, about how I would much prefer she stay with stuff while it's on the stove. She said something along the lines of, that's how I do it at home. I thought to myself, yes, but we don't want to burn the apartment down/set off the fire alarm/whatnot now. Dx I didn't say that, but I thought it.
I called my parents after all of this happened. My dad told me that he doesn't want me going to Germany during January because of the refugee/migrant whatnot going on. Apparently, an electrician from his work who worked on our house also, his son's girlfriend is from Germany and is coming to America to get out of the whatnot going on there. He talked about women being raped and other stuff like that. I asked what would happen if I got offered a Fulbright. He said that (it breaks his heart), but he would say no to it as of right now.
I'm like, I can't defer it for a year or anything. I believe it's either now or never (or reapply next year, one year post-college [MEEP]).
((WHAT THE HECK AM I GOING TO DO POST-GRAD?))
So I talked to him first. He is going to Tucson on Sunday or Monday for one or two weeks. I asked him if he was excited, and he responded in the affirmative, to finally "get back to civilization."
I'm sad to hear that Dad and Mom are so unhappy here. :c I feel like I'm holding them back because of school/health/whatnot. :C
(Ik that there are a whole slew of other things, like finances, jobs, etc, but still. No huzzahs.)
I talked to Mom afterward, and told her about Z (not H, just Z). She agreed with me. Idk if Z heard me or not, because she was in the kitchen while I was talking on the landline in my room with the door closed. I also told Mom about what Dad told me about the Jan term trip (which I can understand) then the Fulbright. I told Mom (in confidence) that if I receive a Fulbright offer, I may accept it regardless of his opinion, because IT'S MY LIFE, DANG IT. I CAN'T KEEP LIVING IN FEAR, DANG IT.
(Heck, this might not even come up - I won't know about if I receive the Fulbright until January or later, I think.)
STILL, NO HUZZAHS.
In other news, I'm kind of hesitant to post this. (Once again, not that I have any readers, but still.) I don't feel like I'm being a good Christian. But this is better than keeping it bottled up, right? It's anonymous, right (or anonymous enough)? It will help me get through my feelings, right?
Yes, I'm still having memory issues. Yes, I have come SO INCREDIBLY FAR, and yet, and yet, and yet, and yet.
So, it looks like I'm going to do a remote DIS with Mirko, Lidiya/Lydia (sp?), and the third person during Jan term. I'm going to double-check with the registrar to see how many credit hours one can take during Jan term without it being an overload, with the potentiality of taking Advanced Fiction Tutorial as well. If that would be too many hours, I will audit Advanced Fiction Tutorial instead.
(EDIT [Oct 26 - I feel left out because they [Z & H] went out with K and R for R's birthday and didn't invite me. I know they have no obligation to do that and stuff, but still. :c I need to find some more friends and/or strengthen current relationships. :c[x2])
/end rant (for now at least)
Dear Jesus,
Please help me. You know exactly what's going to happen in my life. Please give me trust, patience, all that jazz as I go through this time. Please grant me patience with my friends. Please help me find some sort of meaning through all of this.
I don't know what Your plan is, but I know it's good, yeah.
("Write Your Story," Francesca Battistelli)
In Your name, Lord,
Amen
Heck, I just read through the lyrics of that song, and I feel like it's talking to me so much right now. (Honestly, idk if I'll ever BUY it, because [honestly 2.0] I'm not a huge fan of the music itself [o3o], but I LOVE its message.)
And on that (more positive) note, I will bid you all (invisible readers) Auf Wiedersehen, Au Revoir, Tschüss, gift horse, for now.
/fin
Thursday, October 8, 2015
The Yellow Wallpaper
I went to see my college's performance of "The Yellow Wallpaper" tonight, and it struck a chord with me. It made me think back to my own time in inpatient and outpatient therapy.
(Yes, I realize that the Rehab Hospital and Center were NOWHERE NEAR as bad as what Charlotte went through in the play [and in real life], but I could connect with some of her struggles.)
Like, not even close. o3o
But yes, I have come SO FAR. SO FAR. So super duper duper duper duper huzzahs for that. <3>
EDIT (NOT-
BLARGHALASEGADSGIFTHORSEETC I FORGOT (FOR NOW)
No huzzahs. I'll probably wake up sometime in the middle of the night and remember. Heck, I think if I just tried hard I could focus and recall it now, butbutbut, laziness.
Good night.
(Yes, I realize that the Rehab Hospital and Center were NOWHERE NEAR as bad as what Charlotte went through in the play [and in real life], but I could connect with some of her struggles.)
Like, not even close. o3o
But yes, I have come SO FAR. SO FAR. So super duper duper duper duper huzzahs for that. <3>
EDIT (NOT-
BLARGHALASEGADSGIFTHORSEETC I FORGOT (FOR NOW)
No huzzahs. I'll probably wake up sometime in the middle of the night and remember. Heck, I think if I just tried hard I could focus and recall it now, butbutbut, laziness.
Good night.
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
October (!)
Okay, so several things occurred to me as I wrote the title (and am writing text) for this blog post.
One - I have fallen into the habit/quirk of setting aside exclamation points within ellipses (idk, to accentuate them, I guess.)
Two - Egads, my fall term of senior year of college is almost half-way done. Dx
(Tomorrow starts my first day of midterm exams, though I have already done and turned in my German lit one. [Because I'm an overachiever {and it was simple o3o}.])
Three - I actually spent some time considering where to put the final period in the previous sentence. xD
Yeah.
In other news, I am waiting on information from a trust fund for early disbursement of funds so that I could go to Berlin (!/[egads I did it again]) during the January of 2016.
Speaking of egads, I have (numerous) tics (perseverations) now. Yes, they make me unique, and yet no, I do not wish to have them. o3o
Speaking of Berlin, I finally (exclamation point) got my passport done again. It was a long, drawn-out process. I had one before, but it was expired. So I got the form to renew it; it couldn't be renewed because I was a minor when I first got it; I had to (err - my dad had to) locate my birth certificate because it was one of the required documents for a passport. And then, and then, once I came in, forms filled out, documentation in hand (birth certificate and ID), passport pictures done, I turn it all over, then say, oh right, I have my old passport too. Would you like it? And what does the woman say?
If you have your old passport, you don't need to bring in your birth certificate.
><
/rant (for now, at least)
In other, other news, I am quite tired. Idk if I'll come back. As of right now, this blog is kind of serving as an online diary of sorts. Truth be told, I'm not sure how I feel about that. o3o
Anywho, auf wiedersehen, Tschüss, all that jazz. :)
/fin
One - I have fallen into the habit/quirk of setting aside exclamation points within ellipses (idk, to accentuate them, I guess.)
Two - Egads, my fall term of senior year of college is almost half-way done. Dx
(Tomorrow starts my first day of midterm exams, though I have already done and turned in my German lit one. [Because I'm an overachiever {and it was simple o3o}.])
Three - I actually spent some time considering where to put the final period in the previous sentence. xD
Yeah.
In other news, I am waiting on information from a trust fund for early disbursement of funds so that I could go to Berlin (!/[egads I did it again]) during the January of 2016.
Speaking of egads, I have (numerous) tics (perseverations) now. Yes, they make me unique, and yet no, I do not wish to have them. o3o
Speaking of Berlin, I finally (exclamation point) got my passport done again. It was a long, drawn-out process. I had one before, but it was expired. So I got the form to renew it; it couldn't be renewed because I was a minor when I first got it; I had to (err - my dad had to) locate my birth certificate because it was one of the required documents for a passport. And then, and then, once I came in, forms filled out, documentation in hand (birth certificate and ID), passport pictures done, I turn it all over, then say, oh right, I have my old passport too. Would you like it? And what does the woman say?
If you have your old passport, you don't need to bring in your birth certificate.
><
/rant (for now, at least)
In other, other news, I am quite tired. Idk if I'll come back. As of right now, this blog is kind of serving as an online diary of sorts. Truth be told, I'm not sure how I feel about that. o3o
Anywho, auf wiedersehen, Tschüss, all that jazz. :)
/fin
Saturday, September 26, 2015
Update (!)
Hello once more. It's been, what, four years?
On the advice of (several) people, I am going to try my hand at blogging in general. About what, you may ask? Well, like my blog's title alludes to, it's like a field of mushrooms. You never really know what's going to pop up. (That is to say, I'm not really sure yet.)
So, please bear with me.
In case you're curious, I am currently attending Converse College in Spartanburg now. I am in my senior year of college after having a year off for medical leave. I may or may not go into that on a later date; I'm not yet sure. If you are friends with me on Facebook, I have been pretty open about all the medical whatnot that has gone down / went down.
In other news, I have been sending out (many, many) queries to agents about the book I did my high school senior project on (because I finally finished/polished it up! Huzzah!). So far, all the agents I have queried have turned me down (sad face :c ), but hey, at least I have been getting replies.
I also have (several) ideas for future novels. I keep a running document on my laptop with them. c:
Alsoalsoalso, I am a double major at Converse with Creative and Professional Writing (imagine that) and German. Back in high school, I never really thought I would continue with German beyond what I needed for my Foreign Language requirement, but after coming to Converse, the resident Germanist, Mirko Hall, inspired/motivated me to continue with it, and I'm glad I am. In fact, I applied for a Fulbright English Teaching Assistantship position for 2016-2017 (!). Fingers crossed!
Anyway, that's it for tonight. Honestly, I'm not sure wie oft (how often) I will update this. Just so you all know (whoever "you all" is, that is, ha).
Tschuss!
-J
On the advice of (several) people, I am going to try my hand at blogging in general. About what, you may ask? Well, like my blog's title alludes to, it's like a field of mushrooms. You never really know what's going to pop up. (That is to say, I'm not really sure yet.)
So, please bear with me.
In case you're curious, I am currently attending Converse College in Spartanburg now. I am in my senior year of college after having a year off for medical leave. I may or may not go into that on a later date; I'm not yet sure. If you are friends with me on Facebook, I have been pretty open about all the medical whatnot that has gone down / went down.
In other news, I have been sending out (many, many) queries to agents about the book I did my high school senior project on (because I finally finished/polished it up! Huzzah!). So far, all the agents I have queried have turned me down (sad face :c ), but hey, at least I have been getting replies.
I also have (several) ideas for future novels. I keep a running document on my laptop with them. c:
Alsoalsoalso, I am a double major at Converse with Creative and Professional Writing (imagine that) and German. Back in high school, I never really thought I would continue with German beyond what I needed for my Foreign Language requirement, but after coming to Converse, the resident Germanist, Mirko Hall, inspired/motivated me to continue with it, and I'm glad I am. In fact, I applied for a Fulbright English Teaching Assistantship position for 2016-2017 (!). Fingers crossed!
Anyway, that's it for tonight. Honestly, I'm not sure wie oft (how often) I will update this. Just so you all know (whoever "you all" is, that is, ha).
Tschuss!
-J
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