November 12

Hello again.

So, medical whatnots, right? I had a brain bleed during summer 2013 (June 24th, in fact - I have it on my calendar). Because of the brain bleed, I've been recovering from short-term memory loss.

It hit me over the head (again) today the enormity of what that entailed, I guess.

I started at my current college during Jan term of my freshman year. I started my college career in a level 300 course (Fitzgerald and the Jazz Age - ENG 380), which I did well in - I made an A. At the time, however, I had ALWAYS gotten A's, so nbd, right?

Let's see... a year and a half later, I received my first B since middle school, I believe. It was in ENG 393 - Creative Writing Fiction, which I had always considered my personal forte, writing (especially fiction).

I know that I was SO MAD at the professor, the situation, all of that... jazz (xD) when I received that grade.

Who knew that a little bit over a year later, I would be REJOICING (hallezuiah-ing o3o) over a B in General Psychology (PSY 100)?

You see (err - read o3o) in the time between those two summers, I had to relearn how to walk, talk, write (my gosh, my handwriting was bad initially xD/Dx [though my mother would say it is still bad/has always been bad o3o]), feed myself, etc. (Sorry for the extended tangent there...)

ANYWAY.

I have come so. freaking. far. Hu-freaking-zah. P to the T to the L.

Yes, I still make errors. For example, when I got ready for bed, I had forgotten that I still had my nightclothes from last night in my closet for me to wear again. However, I am happy to report that I did not beat myself up over it - I simply switched my clothing around. My previous psychologist (Dr. G) said that I am much more sensitive to anything related to memory now.

Yes, I still have mobility issues. (According to my dad, I still walk like a stroke victim when I'm tired. :/) But hey, but hey, I was in the STROKE WARD for a while, wasn't I? (I have NO RECOLLECTION, but that's what my parents have said.)

Even in the span of a year - this time last year, I had a checklist next to my pill organizer so that I could see if I had taken my AM and PM meds. (Yes, that's the point of the organizer itself [THANK YOU CVS], but it was an extra checkpoint, I guess.) A year and a half ago, when I refilled my pill organizer, my mom had to check after me to make sure that I had not forgotten any.

(I know I had talked to Dr. G about the B in Fiction, and she said it was probably a good thing, because it happened BEFORE all the medical whatnots. At first, I was like "mk, maybe, yeah" but now, I'm like "OMG YES."

(Psst - spoiler alert - B's will not kill you [though they do begin both words in the phrase "brain bleed" xD.)

Dear God,

I am so sorry for not being willing to see how much you have blessed me. Please forgive me. Please empower/enable me to use this experience to help and/or inspire others.

Please give me peace and direction about the future. I know I read it somewhere, so I'm not taking credit for it, but still - I may not know what the future holds, but I do know Who holds the future.

(All the huzzahs to that. <3 p="">
In Your Name, Lord,
Amen