I don't even know why I'm doing this. It makes me feel better, I guess.
(If a tree falls in a forest, but no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? [Yes, because it does o3o] If a blog entry is written but no one reads it, is it still valid? IDK ><)
I titled this entry father whatnot because reasons.
Reason 1) My father was overjoyed when I graduated. When I saw him afterward he was in tears. Huzzahs for that.
Reason 2) My father and I have had a strained relationship for who knows how long. (Really, my father, my mother, and I as a threesome/family have a strained relationship. o3o)
Reason 3) My father said something akin to NO WAY JOSE when I brought up Americorps.
But I'm a grown woman. I may still live with them, and they may want the best for me, but it's my life.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Please be with me as I go do another round of Cytoxan tomorrow. Please help me rely on you and only You as I look at my future. Please enable me to follow You wherever You may lead me. Please take away my worries, Lord.
Amen <3 p="">
Thursday, June 23, 2016
Saturday, June 18, 2016
Alas(ka) :/ - June 18
Alas.
1) It appears all of my bookmarks from Chrome have disappeared. o.O / Dx / etc.
2) I'm going through my novel (again) and I can see how/why Professor M says that it's difficult to do fantasy. :/
Alas.
Bright side - I've graduated! Huzzah!
(But now what, though? D:)
Alas.
1) It appears all of my bookmarks from Chrome have disappeared. o.O / Dx / etc.
2) I'm going through my novel (again) and I can see how/why Professor M says that it's difficult to do fantasy. :/
Alas.
Bright side - I've graduated! Huzzah!
(But now what, though? D:)
Alas.
Tuesday, May 3, 2016
More Whatnot :)
Hi again, oh invisible reader (here's looking at you, B :) )
Let's see, it's been a long time since I last wrote, because schoolwork / senior stress / etc.
So, let's give a recap -
I am in the spring semester of my senior year at Converse College. I am double majoring in Creative and Professional Writing and German Studies. I am a survivor of a TBI. My vision is still impaired from a relapse that occurred early in the school year due to stress. The opthmalologist / opthalmogist / opthalmogist / opthalmologist / opthalmalogist / ophthalmologist (had to copy and paste from Wikipedia o3o) said he doesn't think it will get better. Alas. ><
In brighter news, I did my final presentation for Advanced Arts Management this AM. I stayed up late last night, but HEYHEYHEY I GOT IT DONE! HUZZAHS FOR THAT! :DDD (Now to just write the corresponding paper, lol.)
I don't have to turn in a final for German Film, because I exempted out of the final written, take home exam. Huzzahs for that as well. :) I am doing the group video project because it is required of everyone. However, however, I think it will be a good, jolly time. :)
As of right now, I am unsure about if I will have to do the final paper for my last honors course. I hope not, but if I do, I do. o3o I did really poorly on the first paper, but I think/know our group project went well, and I think I did better on my second paper. So, fingers crossed! (Also, I know that there is the possibility I could do FANTASTICALLY on this third and final paper, and it could bump up my grade even more, but, honestly, I'd rather not have the stress of that. o3o)
On that topic, I kind of regret choosing this as my last honors course (though, of the options, this one seemed like the best choice). I am going to make either a B or a C in the course, and, while those grades never hurt anyone, meh. :/
However, however, it has done at least one thing - it has made me think (which OMG that's what college is supposed to make you do, right?)
I've thought about my personal faith / beliefs, and now I feel like I have a more solid understanding about what I personally believe. I was able to respectfully state my opinion when I talked about abortion. (The question posited was, why are Christians seemingly divided on issues such as marijuana legalization and gay marriage, but not [for the most part] abortion? I raised my hand and offered that marijuana legalization and gay marriage only affect the willing participants, but abortion affects someone who doesn't have a say in the matter. {I probably said it better than that, but my alarm just went off, so I need to get off soon.} The room, which holds a variety of pro-life and pro-choice people, went silent, as if considering what I said. When someone did speak, they mentioned how they were pro-choice, but she didn't suggest that what I said was wrong. So, like, I know that we have differing opinions, but I was able to state my opinion without coming across as judgmental (I hope o3o).
In other news, I am presenting my BFA senior seminar on Thursday (which seems like the date for everything, ha). I will not be able to go to a fellow Germanist's senior seminar presentation in Philosophy because they are at the exact same time. (Alas once more.)
IN SUPER POSITIVE NEWS, I've full blown adulted today and in the near past. I got my Navy Federal credit card set up now (HUZZAHS FOR THAT) so now I don't have to use my debit card online. When I told my dad that I used my debit card online, he nearly had a heart attack. PROBLEM SOLVED.
Alsoalsoalso, I successfully gained access to my Americorps account. When I went to tentatively apply for a job, I put in my SSN and birthdate and whatnot, and the system told me I already had an account. INSTEAD OF GIVING UP THOUGH, I called the number, talked to a person [nopers, person, prones], and got it squared away. Apparently, I had been registered as having applied for or completed service somewhere in the Northeast during 2012. I said to the woman, no, no, no, that was NOT me. (Idk how that happened, but as of this exact moment, I don't plan on telling my parents about that o3o). LifeLock didn't send me an alert about it (though that may have been before I got LifeLock...), but nothing happened, so I'm not going to worry about it.
(I have yet to actually sit down and talk to both of my parents about it, though, and I'm not even sure I'm going to apply, so, BUT YEAH. HUZZAHS FOR BABY STEPS. xD)
(Also, I am looking at applying for a job at the Governor's School in Greenville. It's like an RD position for high school students. I'm not sure yet, though. *shrug*)
OMG 11 DAYS UNTIL GRADUATION. *gulp*
Dear Lord,
Thank you for this day. Thank you for all the blessings I have received. Thank You that this semester is almost done. Please be with me as I do my oral defense on Thursday. Please be with Sarah as she does hers. Please use me these last 11 days to be a shining light for You.
Please give me peace about the future, whether it's with Americorps, a German company, or whatever. Please give me peace, guidance, wisdom.
In Your Name, Lord,
Amen <3 p="">
Let's see, it's been a long time since I last wrote, because schoolwork / senior stress / etc.
So, let's give a recap -
I am in the spring semester of my senior year at Converse College. I am double majoring in Creative and Professional Writing and German Studies. I am a survivor of a TBI. My vision is still impaired from a relapse that occurred early in the school year due to stress. The opthmalologist / opthalmogist / opthalmogist / opthalmologist / opthalmalogist / ophthalmologist (had to copy and paste from Wikipedia o3o) said he doesn't think it will get better. Alas. ><
In brighter news, I did my final presentation for Advanced Arts Management this AM. I stayed up late last night, but HEYHEYHEY I GOT IT DONE! HUZZAHS FOR THAT! :DDD (Now to just write the corresponding paper, lol.)
I don't have to turn in a final for German Film, because I exempted out of the final written, take home exam. Huzzahs for that as well. :) I am doing the group video project because it is required of everyone. However, however, I think it will be a good, jolly time. :)
As of right now, I am unsure about if I will have to do the final paper for my last honors course. I hope not, but if I do, I do. o3o I did really poorly on the first paper, but I think/know our group project went well, and I think I did better on my second paper. So, fingers crossed! (Also, I know that there is the possibility I could do FANTASTICALLY on this third and final paper, and it could bump up my grade even more, but, honestly, I'd rather not have the stress of that. o3o)
On that topic, I kind of regret choosing this as my last honors course (though, of the options, this one seemed like the best choice). I am going to make either a B or a C in the course, and, while those grades never hurt anyone, meh. :/
However, however, it has done at least one thing - it has made me think (which OMG that's what college is supposed to make you do, right?)
I've thought about my personal faith / beliefs, and now I feel like I have a more solid understanding about what I personally believe. I was able to respectfully state my opinion when I talked about abortion. (The question posited was, why are Christians seemingly divided on issues such as marijuana legalization and gay marriage, but not [for the most part] abortion? I raised my hand and offered that marijuana legalization and gay marriage only affect the willing participants, but abortion affects someone who doesn't have a say in the matter. {I probably said it better than that, but my alarm just went off, so I need to get off soon.} The room, which holds a variety of pro-life and pro-choice people, went silent, as if considering what I said. When someone did speak, they mentioned how they were pro-choice, but she didn't suggest that what I said was wrong. So, like, I know that we have differing opinions, but I was able to state my opinion without coming across as judgmental (I hope o3o).
In other news, I am presenting my BFA senior seminar on Thursday (which seems like the date for everything, ha). I will not be able to go to a fellow Germanist's senior seminar presentation in Philosophy because they are at the exact same time. (Alas once more.)
IN SUPER POSITIVE NEWS, I've full blown adulted today and in the near past. I got my Navy Federal credit card set up now (HUZZAHS FOR THAT) so now I don't have to use my debit card online. When I told my dad that I used my debit card online, he nearly had a heart attack. PROBLEM SOLVED.
Alsoalsoalso, I successfully gained access to my Americorps account. When I went to tentatively apply for a job, I put in my SSN and birthdate and whatnot, and the system told me I already had an account. INSTEAD OF GIVING UP THOUGH, I called the number, talked to a person [nopers, person, prones], and got it squared away. Apparently, I had been registered as having applied for or completed service somewhere in the Northeast during 2012. I said to the woman, no, no, no, that was NOT me. (Idk how that happened, but as of this exact moment, I don't plan on telling my parents about that o3o). LifeLock didn't send me an alert about it (though that may have been before I got LifeLock...), but nothing happened, so I'm not going to worry about it.
(I have yet to actually sit down and talk to both of my parents about it, though, and I'm not even sure I'm going to apply, so, BUT YEAH. HUZZAHS FOR BABY STEPS. xD)
(Also, I am looking at applying for a job at the Governor's School in Greenville. It's like an RD position for high school students. I'm not sure yet, though. *shrug*)
OMG 11 DAYS UNTIL GRADUATION. *gulp*
Dear Lord,
Thank you for this day. Thank you for all the blessings I have received. Thank You that this semester is almost done. Please be with me as I do my oral defense on Thursday. Please be with Sarah as she does hers. Please use me these last 11 days to be a shining light for You.
Please give me peace about the future, whether it's with Americorps, a German company, or whatever. Please give me peace, guidance, wisdom.
In Your Name, Lord,
Amen <3 p="">
Friday, April 15, 2016
March 15 - (Hashtag) Blessed
So today was an eye opener of sorts re: how blessed I (truly) am.
At dinner tonight, I was sitting with another group, not my normal group, and the topic got to how in debt are you going to be after college?
I thought to myself, I'm not going to be at all in debt; in fact, I have settled my account already. I didn't have to take out any loans, nothing. I funded my college education through scholarships (school and state), a college fund set up by my parents (huzzahs for them!), and $5k a year from my grandfather (well, technically my mother's side of the family's apartment house in Germany, but still HUZZAHS FOR HIM/THAT).
The others were dropping some HUMONGOUS numbers - $30k, $50k. I thought to myself, ALAS/EGADS/GIFT HORSE/ETC @.@.@.@.
So thank you, Converse, for offering the scholarships you do (Presidential, faculty, and the one for most promising rising senior). Thank you, South Carolina, for offering the Life Scholarship. Thank you, parents, for setting up my college fund from the beginning. Thank you, Grandpa Noel, for providing me with the $5k/year from the apartment house in Berlin (btw, thank you, Berlin, for being the amazing city you are [I'm going to come back one day, I promise!]).
But, most importantly of all, thank You Lord for everything You have blessed me with. You are the one who endowed me with this capacity for knowledge. You are the one who gave me such amazing parents (who, despite being humans with all of the frail/miscellaneous whatnots that go along with that, ARE PRETTY DARN AWESOME.)
I am sorry for the anger I had at You about my health whatnots (and still have flashes of sometimes). Thank You for forgiving me time and time again. Seriously. (But You know that.)
Amen <3 p="">
-
(Side note - I just now saw that it is March 15, and I'm like, hey, that's the ides of March, isn't it? Hmm. BEWARE @.@)
At dinner tonight, I was sitting with another group, not my normal group, and the topic got to how in debt are you going to be after college?
I thought to myself, I'm not going to be at all in debt; in fact, I have settled my account already. I didn't have to take out any loans, nothing. I funded my college education through scholarships (school and state), a college fund set up by my parents (huzzahs for them!), and $5k a year from my grandfather (well, technically my mother's side of the family's apartment house in Germany, but still HUZZAHS FOR HIM/THAT).
The others were dropping some HUMONGOUS numbers - $30k, $50k. I thought to myself, ALAS/EGADS/GIFT HORSE/ETC @.@.@.@.
So thank you, Converse, for offering the scholarships you do (Presidential, faculty, and the one for most promising rising senior). Thank you, South Carolina, for offering the Life Scholarship. Thank you, parents, for setting up my college fund from the beginning. Thank you, Grandpa Noel, for providing me with the $5k/year from the apartment house in Berlin (btw, thank you, Berlin, for being the amazing city you are [I'm going to come back one day, I promise!]).
But, most importantly of all, thank You Lord for everything You have blessed me with. You are the one who endowed me with this capacity for knowledge. You are the one who gave me such amazing parents (who, despite being humans with all of the frail/miscellaneous whatnots that go along with that, ARE PRETTY DARN AWESOME.)
I am sorry for the anger I had at You about my health whatnots (and still have flashes of sometimes). Thank You for forgiving me time and time again. Seriously. (But You know that.)
Amen <3 p="">
-
(Side note - I just now saw that it is March 15, and I'm like, hey, that's the ides of March, isn't it? Hmm. BEWARE @.@)
Friday, March 18, 2016
March 18 - Boost :)
Hey there.
Let's see, today's news...
I went to the psychologist on campus. Huzzah for that.
I did not go to Work Study, because I'm not scheduled for today.
I presented with my group yesterday. I think we did well. Huzzah for that.
I did not get accepted to a (paid) internship I applied for. I was turned down, kindly, but I was still turned down. (However, I wasn't sure I would have accepted it if I had received it. *shrug*)
I did NOT go to the gym. Instead, I walked around campus three times. First time around, I saw M (a freshman who attends the Bible group I am the president of) and M's parents. I am happy to say that I remembered her name. (She waved at me first, but due to eye whatnots, I wasn't quite able to see who it was, but I waved back nonetheless.)
The second time I ran into my apartment mate, Z, the one who I have had issues with in the past. Everything went fine, though. :)
The third time, I went rogue and went along the outside of campus. (I exited through the main entrance and walked on the sidewalk next to the road back to the senior apartment parking lot.) At first, as I was approaching the entrance, I considered crossing the street to walk in the neighborhood there, but decided against it, because no one would know I was there, and I haven't walked there alone before. I'm not 100% sure if that was me being a 'fraidy cat, or me being smart (psst - smart backwards is trams o3o). I think/know I made the right decision though.
Alsoalsoalso, as I was walking, a car honked at me as it passed from behind. I was securely on the pavement, out of traffic, so I know he/she wasn't honking at me to get out of the way. Alsoalsoalso, I was wearing exercise shorts, so my legs were showing. Alsoalsoalso, one time when R was here (my adopted big), we had a similar experience. She explained then that the person was honking at the pretty ladies. So, even though I do not condone such behavior, and I doubt he (because I'm assuming the driver was a male) would not have reacted that way had he seen my face, the front of my legs, etc, I... am still going to take it as a compliment.
Alsoalsoalsoalso, I'm happy I did that. That... is the first time in a long time I have exercised. So huzzahs for that. :)
TODO this weekend -
1) German response for "Metropolis"
2) German midterm
3) Revise my critical intro for BFA senior sem because I don't believe I will be including all of the pieces I wrote about in my first critical intro. o3o
And other whatnots.
Dear Lord,
Thank You for this day. Thank You for all the blessings I have received, that You have seen fit to give me. Thank You for the blessing that is exercise, for the endorphins I/we receive from it. Please help me continue to find time for that, haha.
Please help me finish this semester strong.
/huzzah
Amen <3 p="">
Let's see, today's news...
I went to the psychologist on campus. Huzzah for that.
I did not go to Work Study, because I'm not scheduled for today.
I presented with my group yesterday. I think we did well. Huzzah for that.
I did not get accepted to a (paid) internship I applied for. I was turned down, kindly, but I was still turned down. (However, I wasn't sure I would have accepted it if I had received it. *shrug*)
I did NOT go to the gym. Instead, I walked around campus three times. First time around, I saw M (a freshman who attends the Bible group I am the president of) and M's parents. I am happy to say that I remembered her name. (She waved at me first, but due to eye whatnots, I wasn't quite able to see who it was, but I waved back nonetheless.)
The second time I ran into my apartment mate, Z, the one who I have had issues with in the past. Everything went fine, though. :)
The third time, I went rogue and went along the outside of campus. (I exited through the main entrance and walked on the sidewalk next to the road back to the senior apartment parking lot.) At first, as I was approaching the entrance, I considered crossing the street to walk in the neighborhood there, but decided against it, because no one would know I was there, and I haven't walked there alone before. I'm not 100% sure if that was me being a 'fraidy cat, or me being smart (psst - smart backwards is trams o3o). I think/know I made the right decision though.
Alsoalsoalso, as I was walking, a car honked at me as it passed from behind. I was securely on the pavement, out of traffic, so I know he/she wasn't honking at me to get out of the way. Alsoalsoalso, I was wearing exercise shorts, so my legs were showing. Alsoalsoalso, one time when R was here (my adopted big), we had a similar experience. She explained then that the person was honking at the pretty ladies. So, even though I do not condone such behavior, and I doubt he (because I'm assuming the driver was a male) would not have reacted that way had he seen my face, the front of my legs, etc, I... am still going to take it as a compliment.
Alsoalsoalsoalso, I'm happy I did that. That... is the first time in a long time I have exercised. So huzzahs for that. :)
TODO this weekend -
1) German response for "Metropolis"
2) German midterm
3) Revise my critical intro for BFA senior sem because I don't believe I will be including all of the pieces I wrote about in my first critical intro. o3o
And other whatnots.
Dear Lord,
Thank You for this day. Thank You for all the blessings I have received, that You have seen fit to give me. Thank You for the blessing that is exercise, for the endorphins I/we receive from it. Please help me continue to find time for that, haha.
Please help me finish this semester strong.
/huzzah
Amen <3 p="">
Friday, March 11, 2016
March 11 - Memory
I titled this blog post "Memory" because of many reasons.
I went to see "The Little Mermaid," put on by my old high school (through which this blog first came to be, ha). D invited me.
D graduated high school a year after me, but due to the medical whatnots, we are graduating college at the same time.
It was SO WEIRD.
A) Mr. T (lol xD) was not there. (He had been the drama person when I went.) Instead, Mrs. R was listed as the director. When I went there, she was just the middle school director/overseer person.
B) Most of the people I knew have already graduated from there. So, the only person on stage I recognized was the girl who played Ursula. She had been in Beauty and the Beast as a teacup, or something. She was acting like the next Nicole or somethin'. (And my GOODNESS BREASTS @.@ [Not that I was focusing on them, but I could not help but notice them, because, back when I knew her when she was a fifth grader, no breasts. o3o])
C) Several of the boys, er... MEN that I knew from school when they were middle schoolers have graduated as well, and have BEARDS. @.@
D) D invited me. We went in celebration of D's sister's birthday (20, I believe). So it was me, D, D's sister, and D's mother. We were in the college auditorium, near the back. Nearby was a young child who kept crying and whose mother kept shushing. I believe, at one point, D and/or D's mother said something to the effect of, I sure wish they would keep their child quiet. Honestly, it bugged me too, but it bugged me more that they actually said something.
(NO, YOU ARE NOT THE POLICEMAN/WOMAN OF THE WORLD, JENNIFER. STOP THAT. ><)
E) I... meant to give back the playbill, as requested, so they could pass it out again tomorrow, but, when I went to the bathroom während intermission, I placed it on the table in the bathroom. I remembered later, however, but once I went back after the play was over, it wasn't there. o3o (SORRY OAKBROOK.)
F) I meant to do my German film reflection tonight, but after the play and showering, I tried, but I am much, much too tired to work on that anymore tonight. Bah. ><
G) I have a group project due this Thursday. We are presenting that day. I also have a date with Brandy tomorrow to binge watch Star Wars. Huzzahs for that.
H) (Back to the negative). Watching this musical made me jealous. I was jealous of a bunch of high schoolers. No huzzahs. :c
(Not just the high schoolers, though. D let me know that B [a mutual friend from high school] is now engaged. I'm thinking to myself, wow, another one? And I haven't yet really dated [but whose fault is that Jennifer? {Silence, self, stop that ><} o3o]).
I) I... just wanted to say...
J) J IS THE FIRST LETTER OF MY NAME.
(Yup o3o)
Dear Lord,
Thank You for this day. Thank You for everything You have given me. Thank You so, so much.
Please Lord, give me peace about the future, about the past, about everything that has happened/will happen to me.
Please give me what I need to finish these assignments on time. Please bless the time I spend on homework so I spend it wisely, productively.
Please heal the hurt I hold in my heart. Please rid me of this envy, because it's not from You, Lord, I know that.
I know I've written it before on Facebook - I may not know the future, but I know the One who does, and that's good enough for me. Please, Lord, I believe it with my head, but please give me the whatever enough to believe it with my heart as well.
In Your Name, Lord,
Amen <3 p="">
I went to see "The Little Mermaid," put on by my old high school (through which this blog first came to be, ha). D invited me.
D graduated high school a year after me, but due to the medical whatnots, we are graduating college at the same time.
It was SO WEIRD.
A) Mr. T (lol xD) was not there. (He had been the drama person when I went.) Instead, Mrs. R was listed as the director. When I went there, she was just the middle school director/overseer person.
B) Most of the people I knew have already graduated from there. So, the only person on stage I recognized was the girl who played Ursula. She had been in Beauty and the Beast as a teacup, or something. She was acting like the next Nicole or somethin'. (And my GOODNESS BREASTS @.@ [Not that I was focusing on them, but I could not help but notice them, because, back when I knew her when she was a fifth grader, no breasts. o3o])
C) Several of the boys, er... MEN that I knew from school when they were middle schoolers have graduated as well, and have BEARDS. @.@
D) D invited me. We went in celebration of D's sister's birthday (20, I believe). So it was me, D, D's sister, and D's mother. We were in the college auditorium, near the back. Nearby was a young child who kept crying and whose mother kept shushing. I believe, at one point, D and/or D's mother said something to the effect of, I sure wish they would keep their child quiet. Honestly, it bugged me too, but it bugged me more that they actually said something.
(NO, YOU ARE NOT THE POLICEMAN/WOMAN OF THE WORLD, JENNIFER. STOP THAT. ><)
E) I... meant to give back the playbill, as requested, so they could pass it out again tomorrow, but, when I went to the bathroom während intermission, I placed it on the table in the bathroom. I remembered later, however, but once I went back after the play was over, it wasn't there. o3o (SORRY OAKBROOK.)
F) I meant to do my German film reflection tonight, but after the play and showering, I tried, but I am much, much too tired to work on that anymore tonight. Bah. ><
G) I have a group project due this Thursday. We are presenting that day. I also have a date with Brandy tomorrow to binge watch Star Wars. Huzzahs for that.
H) (Back to the negative). Watching this musical made me jealous. I was jealous of a bunch of high schoolers. No huzzahs. :c
(Not just the high schoolers, though. D let me know that B [a mutual friend from high school] is now engaged. I'm thinking to myself, wow, another one? And I haven't yet really dated [but whose fault is that Jennifer? {Silence, self, stop that ><} o3o]).
I) I... just wanted to say...
J) J IS THE FIRST LETTER OF MY NAME.
(Yup o3o)
Dear Lord,
Thank You for this day. Thank You for everything You have given me. Thank You so, so much.
Please Lord, give me peace about the future, about the past, about everything that has happened/will happen to me.
Please give me what I need to finish these assignments on time. Please bless the time I spend on homework so I spend it wisely, productively.
Please heal the hurt I hold in my heart. Please rid me of this envy, because it's not from You, Lord, I know that.
I know I've written it before on Facebook - I may not know the future, but I know the One who does, and that's good enough for me. Please, Lord, I believe it with my head, but please give me the whatever enough to believe it with my heart as well.
In Your Name, Lord,
Amen <3 p="">
Monday, February 22, 2016
February 22 - Rant Dump
Hello again.
I am currently at Work Study, not working (because I have already done my tasks) and not studying (because reasons o3o).
1) I emailed Professor M my tentative book list for the BFA senior seminar, and he said it was good, but he would suggest me adding a craft book on fiction.
...
I have craft books on fiction on the list. Like, two or three of them. It makes me wonder, did he even read it? :/ (One of said craft books {that was on the list of recommended readings, no less} was available neither through Converse's library nor the public library's immediately available list. I had to place a hold at the public library to get it transferred here. It should arrive in about two weeks.) ><
2) Drs. T and K have not responded to me re: if I can get the discussion questions before class. ><
3) I... am quite hungry. At first, I thought, no I can make it to dinner, then I look at the time, and I'm like, HAHA NOPE. (All the nope.) So huzzahs for having a food bar in my backpack. (BUT NO HUZZAHS FOR STILL BEING HUNGRY ><)
4) About the refugee crisis whatnot - blargh. No huzzahs. >< (Mom said we wouldn't go to Germany because Dad is totally against it because of the refugees.) Also, when I was thinking about the Jan term trip to Berlin, I brought that whatnot up to Dr. T (the other Dr. T, head of the study abroad program) and she replied how the Department of State hadn't issued any warnings, and how Converse was not in the habit of putting her students in danger. (This was before the attacks in Paris. Speaking of which - the immature side of me thought, see! I/we told you so! But I didn't. {HUZZAH FOR SELF-CONTROL!} o3o) When I told my dad, he said something about how that would be good if we could trust the Department of State, but we can't because reasons (that he did say, but I can't remember). ><
5) My aunt is Catholic. I know that she came to that over the course of her life, and I know that she really wants me to become Catholic as well. Like, she posted something on my Facebook wall about how Millennials are turning to Catholicism. Butbutbut, ALAS. A-freaking-las. ><
6) I am going to end this on a bright not. WHITE CHOCOLATE MOCHA IS BACK AT THE CAMPUS STARBUCKS. Ptl. Thank you, Lord, for that spot of brightness.
Dear Lord,
I am sorry for all of the complaining I do. Seriously, es tut mir leid. :c
Thank you for everything you have blessed me with. Thank you that I am getting better, slowly but (kind of) surely.
Thank you that I have this Work Study job, that I am able to make money (every bit helps, haha). Please give me wisdom about how to spend it.
Please be with my parents. I know that they say these things because they care for me (I know that!), but still. Please give me the wisdom about how to respond if/when we get into disagreements.
(On that note, **** [you know what I mean].)
Please, please, please give me guidance about what the next step in my life will be. I've said it before, but I'll say it again. I may not know the future, but I have a personal relationship with the One who does. He knows what's going to happen. Please, Lord, grant me Your peace.
In Your Name, Lord,
Amen <3 p="">
I am currently at Work Study, not working (because I have already done my tasks) and not studying (because reasons o3o).
1) I emailed Professor M my tentative book list for the BFA senior seminar, and he said it was good, but he would suggest me adding a craft book on fiction.
...
I have craft books on fiction on the list. Like, two or three of them. It makes me wonder, did he even read it? :/ (One of said craft books {that was on the list of recommended readings, no less} was available neither through Converse's library nor the public library's immediately available list. I had to place a hold at the public library to get it transferred here. It should arrive in about two weeks.) ><
2) Drs. T and K have not responded to me re: if I can get the discussion questions before class. ><
3) I... am quite hungry. At first, I thought, no I can make it to dinner, then I look at the time, and I'm like, HAHA NOPE. (All the nope.) So huzzahs for having a food bar in my backpack. (BUT NO HUZZAHS FOR STILL BEING HUNGRY ><)
4) About the refugee crisis whatnot - blargh. No huzzahs. >< (Mom said we wouldn't go to Germany because Dad is totally against it because of the refugees.) Also, when I was thinking about the Jan term trip to Berlin, I brought that whatnot up to Dr. T (the other Dr. T, head of the study abroad program) and she replied how the Department of State hadn't issued any warnings, and how Converse was not in the habit of putting her students in danger. (This was before the attacks in Paris. Speaking of which - the immature side of me thought, see! I/we told you so! But I didn't. {HUZZAH FOR SELF-CONTROL!} o3o) When I told my dad, he said something about how that would be good if we could trust the Department of State, but we can't because reasons (that he did say, but I can't remember). ><
5) My aunt is Catholic. I know that she came to that over the course of her life, and I know that she really wants me to become Catholic as well. Like, she posted something on my Facebook wall about how Millennials are turning to Catholicism. Butbutbut, ALAS. A-freaking-las. ><
6) I am going to end this on a bright not. WHITE CHOCOLATE MOCHA IS BACK AT THE CAMPUS STARBUCKS. Ptl. Thank you, Lord, for that spot of brightness.
Dear Lord,
I am sorry for all of the complaining I do. Seriously, es tut mir leid. :c
Thank you for everything you have blessed me with. Thank you that I am getting better, slowly but (kind of) surely.
Thank you that I have this Work Study job, that I am able to make money (every bit helps, haha). Please give me wisdom about how to spend it.
Please be with my parents. I know that they say these things because they care for me (I know that!), but still. Please give me the wisdom about how to respond if/when we get into disagreements.
(On that note, **** [you know what I mean].)
Please, please, please give me guidance about what the next step in my life will be. I've said it before, but I'll say it again. I may not know the future, but I have a personal relationship with the One who does. He knows what's going to happen. Please, Lord, grant me Your peace.
In Your Name, Lord,
Amen <3 p="">
Monday, February 15, 2016
February 15 - The Fall
So, today my college closed at 2:30 due to icy conditions. When I told my mom, she scoffed, then I said something along the lines of think of the commuters, or something.
But yeah, but yeah.
So (2.0), after dinner, I walked over to the library, but hey, look at that, the school is closed, hence the library is closed as well. So (3.0), I went to Starbucks, had a drink, then started to walk toward the library roundabouts 7-ish (because I had forgotten that it was closed).
Then (ALAS[-KA Dx]), on my way to the library, I slipped on a patch of ice, falling on my back. No, I was not injured (except for my pride), but, more importantly/also, nobody saw me.
Like, part of me is happy that no one saw my (literal) slip-up, but at the same time, I'm thinking, what if I had been injured? How long would it have taken someone to find me? (No huzzahs for that >:C)
Part of me (2.0) was going to make this into an existential post, hence the title "The Fall," and wanted to address how it is mankind's "fall" into sin that lets such bad things happen. Maybe another time. o3o
BUT PTL - I'M ALIVE.
(But, I'm still scared about stuff. For example, once I went down, I thought, oh gosh, did I hit my head? I don't want to have hit my head. I'm not sure, but I don't feel any different. (Also, I'm not exactly sure about the timeline with all that, hence feeding into my concern about my memory still. :/))
Bah. No huzzahs for all that. :c
Anywho, I need to do homework before tomorrow.
Dear Lord,
Thank you for keeping me safe today. Thanks a bunch.
ALL THE HUZZAHS TO YOU, LORD.
(Also, please keep me steady on my feet, so this doesn't happen again. Please. o3o)
<3 p="">Amen
But yeah, but yeah.
So (2.0), after dinner, I walked over to the library, but hey, look at that, the school is closed, hence the library is closed as well. So (3.0), I went to Starbucks, had a drink, then started to walk toward the library roundabouts 7-ish (because I had forgotten that it was closed).
Then (ALAS[-KA Dx]), on my way to the library, I slipped on a patch of ice, falling on my back. No, I was not injured (except for my pride), but, more importantly/also, nobody saw me.
Like, part of me is happy that no one saw my (literal) slip-up, but at the same time, I'm thinking, what if I had been injured? How long would it have taken someone to find me? (No huzzahs for that >:C)
Part of me (2.0) was going to make this into an existential post, hence the title "The Fall," and wanted to address how it is mankind's "fall" into sin that lets such bad things happen. Maybe another time. o3o
BUT PTL - I'M ALIVE.
(But, I'm still scared about stuff. For example, once I went down, I thought, oh gosh, did I hit my head? I don't want to have hit my head. I'm not sure, but I don't feel any different. (Also, I'm not exactly sure about the timeline with all that, hence feeding into my concern about my memory still. :/))
Bah. No huzzahs for all that. :c
Anywho, I need to do homework before tomorrow.
Dear Lord,
Thank you for keeping me safe today. Thanks a bunch.
ALL THE HUZZAHS TO YOU, LORD.
(Also, please keep me steady on my feet, so this doesn't happen again. Please. o3o)
<3 p="">Amen
Saturday, February 6, 2016
February 6 - Chelsea Clinton
Hello once more, o invisible reader.
Trigger warning / spoiler alert / etc - this is going to be a politically oriented blog post. Sorry not sorry. o3o
Today, at my college, Chelsea Clinton came to speak on behalf of her mother, Hillary Clinton.
(Side note - I googled both "Hillary Clinton" [to ascertain I spelled her name correctly] and "Hillary Clinton daughter" [to ascertain I spelled Chelsea's name correctly]. Apparently, Chelsea Clinton has a Wikipedia page about her. Wow, and I just saw her not half an hour ago.)
...
I know that I have opportunities most people do not have. For example, I am currently attending college. One of the topics Chelsea spoke about was how her mom wants to make college more affordable. Something about taxing higher income families ($250k+/year earners) more.
College is not a right. So, what with Bernie Sanders talking about free public college, I'm like, yeah, nope. o3o
My family makes (I believe) around $60k/year. (Though, technically, with the Germany property, it says something SIGNIFICANTLY higher on our tax returns, but we don't actually SEE any of that money [which is why I didn't qualify for federally funded work study, {though my school did hire me as a student worker}]). Even so, I don't think we need to tax wealthier people to pay for other people. The $250k+ people... that's their money. Like, it's THEIR money. THEIRS. Not mine, not yours, THEIRS.
(Did I make my point clear? o3o If the wealthy people want to give their money away, let them do it and HUZZAHS FOR THEM IF THEY DO. But, seriously, it's theirs. :/ )
So, while I wouldn't say no to lower tuition costs, if it literally cost other people for me to pursue something for my gain... that's not right imo.
But back to the more opportunities whatnot I mentioned before. I will be graduating without any debt, due to a combination of scholarships and a college fund from my grandfather. I know that many/most people do not have that opportunity. I promise you, I know that. (#blessed (?) )
Something that was also talked about was health care. Once more, I've been blessed to have TriCare Prime (though now it's TriCare Prime Young Adult until further notice [because we sent off the appeal form for me to stay on the family plan]). My father EARNED that, through his 20 years of service in the Navy.
Another topic discussed was a woman's right to choose.
I am pro-life. I (intellectually) understand/know that there are near countless reasons a woman would want an abortion (rape, incest, not being ready, umsw). A while ago, I saw a Buzzfeed post about women "Shouting [their] abortion," about them celebrating the fact that they had one and refusing to be shamed about it anymore. One woman said something about how in [year] she had an abortion because she wasn't ready to be a mother and now she is able to be a better mother to her other kids.
My mother has a story that I'm not going to share on here (because it's her story, not mine), but she is SUPER pro-life as well. She has also said something along the lines of, if you don't want / can't take care of / etc your child, give him/her up for adoption. There are people out there who would LOVE to have a child, but can't. (Idk anything about the stats re: that, so... yeah.)
Maybe I'm old-fashioned (no, I'm definitely old-fashioned compared to some of the women here, eek. :x)
---
Honestly, I just want to tune all of this out, stick my fingers in my ears and go "LALALALA." It's so hard to be around so many other people with (radically!) different viewpoints. When Chelsea spoke of Republicans, it wasn't mean/snide/etc, but it was negative. (Like, if a Republican gets elected, we'll lose all the progress we've made over the past eight years.)
ALSO, THAT'S ANOTHER THING. When Chelsea spoke about progressives, she spoke about the progressive movement as a positive thing. Honestly, that is probably the first time I've heard progressives being a positive entity. My parents are super conservative, and I am less so, but still conservative. If I went home tomorrow and said that I'm now a progressive, they might have heart attacks, lol (but not lol o3o).
As my friend B says, BAH. (And as my keyboard types, ><).
Dear Lord,
Thank You for everything You have blessed me with. Seriously, thanks a million and a half (which rounds up to a million and one o3o).
Please give me peace. Please give me wisdom, wisdom with... everything.
Please give me the words to say if/when I engage in dialogue with others (especially in Religion and Public Life).
PLEASE give me peace about post-grad.
(Also, please give me the words to say when I talk to my parents about the summer mission trip opportunities.)
In Your name, Lord,
Amen <3 p="">
Trigger warning / spoiler alert / etc - this is going to be a politically oriented blog post. Sorry not sorry. o3o
Today, at my college, Chelsea Clinton came to speak on behalf of her mother, Hillary Clinton.
(Side note - I googled both "Hillary Clinton" [to ascertain I spelled her name correctly] and "Hillary Clinton daughter" [to ascertain I spelled Chelsea's name correctly]. Apparently, Chelsea Clinton has a Wikipedia page about her. Wow, and I just saw her not half an hour ago.)
...
I know that I have opportunities most people do not have. For example, I am currently attending college. One of the topics Chelsea spoke about was how her mom wants to make college more affordable. Something about taxing higher income families ($250k+/year earners) more.
College is not a right. So, what with Bernie Sanders talking about free public college, I'm like, yeah, nope. o3o
My family makes (I believe) around $60k/year. (Though, technically, with the Germany property, it says something SIGNIFICANTLY higher on our tax returns, but we don't actually SEE any of that money [which is why I didn't qualify for federally funded work study, {though my school did hire me as a student worker}]). Even so, I don't think we need to tax wealthier people to pay for other people. The $250k+ people... that's their money. Like, it's THEIR money. THEIRS. Not mine, not yours, THEIRS.
(Did I make my point clear? o3o If the wealthy people want to give their money away, let them do it and HUZZAHS FOR THEM IF THEY DO. But, seriously, it's theirs. :/ )
So, while I wouldn't say no to lower tuition costs, if it literally cost other people for me to pursue something for my gain... that's not right imo.
But back to the more opportunities whatnot I mentioned before. I will be graduating without any debt, due to a combination of scholarships and a college fund from my grandfather. I know that many/most people do not have that opportunity. I promise you, I know that. (#blessed (?) )
Something that was also talked about was health care. Once more, I've been blessed to have TriCare Prime (though now it's TriCare Prime Young Adult until further notice [because we sent off the appeal form for me to stay on the family plan]). My father EARNED that, through his 20 years of service in the Navy.
Another topic discussed was a woman's right to choose.
I am pro-life. I (intellectually) understand/know that there are near countless reasons a woman would want an abortion (rape, incest, not being ready, umsw). A while ago, I saw a Buzzfeed post about women "Shouting [their] abortion," about them celebrating the fact that they had one and refusing to be shamed about it anymore. One woman said something about how in [year] she had an abortion because she wasn't ready to be a mother and now she is able to be a better mother to her other kids.
My mother has a story that I'm not going to share on here (because it's her story, not mine), but she is SUPER pro-life as well. She has also said something along the lines of, if you don't want / can't take care of / etc your child, give him/her up for adoption. There are people out there who would LOVE to have a child, but can't. (Idk anything about the stats re: that, so... yeah.)
Maybe I'm old-fashioned (no, I'm definitely old-fashioned compared to some of the women here, eek. :x)
---
Honestly, I just want to tune all of this out, stick my fingers in my ears and go "LALALALA." It's so hard to be around so many other people with (radically!) different viewpoints. When Chelsea spoke of Republicans, it wasn't mean/snide/etc, but it was negative. (Like, if a Republican gets elected, we'll lose all the progress we've made over the past eight years.)
ALSO, THAT'S ANOTHER THING. When Chelsea spoke about progressives, she spoke about the progressive movement as a positive thing. Honestly, that is probably the first time I've heard progressives being a positive entity. My parents are super conservative, and I am less so, but still conservative. If I went home tomorrow and said that I'm now a progressive, they might have heart attacks, lol (but not lol o3o).
As my friend B says, BAH. (And as my keyboard types, ><).
Dear Lord,
Thank You for everything You have blessed me with. Seriously, thanks a million and a half (which rounds up to a million and one o3o).
Please give me peace. Please give me wisdom, wisdom with... everything.
Please give me the words to say if/when I engage in dialogue with others (especially in Religion and Public Life).
PLEASE give me peace about post-grad.
(Also, please give me the words to say when I talk to my parents about the summer mission trip opportunities.)
In Your name, Lord,
Amen <3 p="">
Monday, January 25, 2016
Jan 25 - Potpourri
So, as the title suggests, this is going to be another mish-mash sort of post.
A) User Error (PART THREE) - apparently, my insurance card was right, and my insurance did run out on January 8th. (So, technically, I was without insurance for a couple o' weeks. o3o)
My dad and I went over to USC Upstate and switched me over to the Prime Young Adult plan. It is an extra however much per month, but hey, at least I have insurance. PTL for that.
(However, I know that IF my dad knew I was writing about this on the Internet for all the world to see, he would have a cow, a pig, an entire barnyard. So, please, if you see him, don't tell 'im. o3o)
((Also, technically I was breaking the law, wasn't I? By not being insured? o.O / o3o *shhhh*))
B) My Jan term is going well. The final day to drop a class passed (I had it on my calendar), and I didn't drop the class I was considering dropping. Huzzahs for that.
C) I wrote for myself today (!!!!!!!). Yes, it was only the end of a flash fiction prompt posted somewhere on the Interwebz, but, HEY! WRITING FOR SELF! SUPER DUPER HUZZAHS!
D) I went to the gym today. c: I believe that exercise releases endorphins, lol. xD
E) I have a copy of the book "Ben Carson: Rx for America" by John Philip Sousa IV, and, honestly, I don't plan on finishing it. I know it's meant to sway me to want to vote for Carson, but considering I'm already on Team Carson (I have donated to him, bought a shirt, all that jazz), I feel as if my time could be better spent doing other things (such as writing this blog post, lol xD).
F) This is the final week of Jan term. I need to write this final essay for Poe/Hoffman, make changes to my stories for Advanced Tutorial, then pack for Converge, a BCM retreat down in Myrtle Beach. We are leaving on my birthday, so I'm not going to see my Dad on my birthday (:c), but I believe I will be making the right choice by going to Converge. It will be nice to get out of the 'Burg for awhile, ha. xD
G) I sent a tentative resume for review about a Spring internship. Fingers crossed? Idk. It's not the internship I wanted (I got [nicely] turned down for that one, but if I think it would be good for me to get more experience.) ((Unfortunately, this internship is unpaid, but hey, most are, ha. xD))
Dear Lord,
Thank You for this day. Thank You for all the blessings You have poured out over me. Good gravy in the morning knows I don't know the future, but You do (and that's what matters <3 p="">
Please be with me as I enter this, my final semester of my undergraduate career. Please give me guidance / direction / all that jazz re: my future.
(Also, please be with America as we go into this next election cycle. Please give the American people wisdom as we choose our next leader. Please let our next leader make the best possible decisions, regardless of party line.)
((Also, also, please be with the refugees, all of them. Ik that many are worried [for good reason] about ISIS whatnots, and Muslims, etc. Please... resolve this issue?))
(((Also, also, also, please be with Germany. Please. [If I may be selfish for a moment, I would really like to return one day. o3o])))
In Your name, Lord,
Amen <3 p="">
A) User Error (PART THREE) - apparently, my insurance card was right, and my insurance did run out on January 8th. (So, technically, I was without insurance for a couple o' weeks. o3o)
My dad and I went over to USC Upstate and switched me over to the Prime Young Adult plan. It is an extra however much per month, but hey, at least I have insurance. PTL for that.
(However, I know that IF my dad knew I was writing about this on the Internet for all the world to see, he would have a cow, a pig, an entire barnyard. So, please, if you see him, don't tell 'im. o3o)
((Also, technically I was breaking the law, wasn't I? By not being insured? o.O / o3o *shhhh*))
B) My Jan term is going well. The final day to drop a class passed (I had it on my calendar), and I didn't drop the class I was considering dropping. Huzzahs for that.
C) I wrote for myself today (!!!!!!!). Yes, it was only the end of a flash fiction prompt posted somewhere on the Interwebz, but, HEY! WRITING FOR SELF! SUPER DUPER HUZZAHS!
D) I went to the gym today. c: I believe that exercise releases endorphins, lol. xD
E) I have a copy of the book "Ben Carson: Rx for America" by John Philip Sousa IV, and, honestly, I don't plan on finishing it. I know it's meant to sway me to want to vote for Carson, but considering I'm already on Team Carson (I have donated to him, bought a shirt, all that jazz), I feel as if my time could be better spent doing other things (such as writing this blog post, lol xD).
F) This is the final week of Jan term. I need to write this final essay for Poe/Hoffman, make changes to my stories for Advanced Tutorial, then pack for Converge, a BCM retreat down in Myrtle Beach. We are leaving on my birthday, so I'm not going to see my Dad on my birthday (:c), but I believe I will be making the right choice by going to Converge. It will be nice to get out of the 'Burg for awhile, ha. xD
G) I sent a tentative resume for review about a Spring internship. Fingers crossed? Idk. It's not the internship I wanted (I got [nicely] turned down for that one, but if I think it would be good for me to get more experience.) ((Unfortunately, this internship is unpaid, but hey, most are, ha. xD))
Dear Lord,
Thank You for this day. Thank You for all the blessings You have poured out over me. Good gravy in the morning knows I don't know the future, but You do (and that's what matters <3 p="">
Please be with me as I enter this, my final semester of my undergraduate career. Please give me guidance / direction / all that jazz re: my future.
(Also, please be with America as we go into this next election cycle. Please give the American people wisdom as we choose our next leader. Please let our next leader make the best possible decisions, regardless of party line.)
((Also, also, please be with the refugees, all of them. Ik that many are worried [for good reason] about ISIS whatnots, and Muslims, etc. Please... resolve this issue?))
(((Also, also, also, please be with Germany. Please. [If I may be selfish for a moment, I would really like to return one day. o3o])))
In Your name, Lord,
Amen <3 p="">
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
January 20 - Simming it Up - Round 2
I saw my old suitemate from last year just now. Long story short, I am happy I'm not rooming with her anymore. :x
However, she did show up a few days ago at my Work Study. I was manning the desk, so she had to talk to me (I don't think she would have otherwise). She asked a question, or directions, or something, and I answered to the best of my knowledge.
Right now, we are both in the library. I had to go to the bathroom and passed her. On my way back, I stopped.
"Hey [Name]," I said. She lowered her headphones.
"Yeah?"
"Did you get that thing figured out, the other day?"
[I couldn't remember exactly what it was, so yeah.]
"Yeah [words I can't remember despite it only being, like, three/four minutes ago Dx]."
She might have said thanks. One thing she did do, was smile. c:
(Huzzahs.)
If I were a Sim, once more, I believe my "Social" bar would have raised.
We may not be (or ever will be) friends, but we can get along. Good griefous knows we must have the BFA Senior Seminar class together during Spring. o3o
(Also, as a Christian, I know I should treat others as Christ would treat them. It is hard, but I made an effort, and it was not snubbed.)
Huzzahs, once more. c:
However, she did show up a few days ago at my Work Study. I was manning the desk, so she had to talk to me (I don't think she would have otherwise). She asked a question, or directions, or something, and I answered to the best of my knowledge.
Right now, we are both in the library. I had to go to the bathroom and passed her. On my way back, I stopped.
"Hey [Name]," I said. She lowered her headphones.
"Yeah?"
"Did you get that thing figured out, the other day?"
[I couldn't remember exactly what it was, so yeah.]
"Yeah [words I can't remember despite it only being, like, three/four minutes ago Dx]."
She might have said thanks. One thing she did do, was smile. c:
(Huzzahs.)
If I were a Sim, once more, I believe my "Social" bar would have raised.
We may not be (or ever will be) friends, but we can get along. Good griefous knows we must have the BFA Senior Seminar class together during Spring. o3o
(Also, as a Christian, I know I should treat others as Christ would treat them. It is hard, but I made an effort, and it was not snubbed.)
Huzzahs, once more. c:
Sunday, January 17, 2016
January 17 - Adulting with TBI Round Two
Hello again.
Despite the title, this is going to be a positive post (for the most part, I hope, haha).
EDIT: I started this post a couple of hours ago, and I'm starting to feel down again. No huzzahs. :/
Anywho, back to the topic at hand.
I was (and still am) alone in the apartment built for four college students on campus. The reason why I'm alone is because one girl/woman (egads) got married (EGADS) and, therefore, was required to move off campus. Another girl/woman went home for the weekend, and has yet to return. The third is not here very often, so... idk. -shrug-
Anywho (times two) ((hey, that rhymed! /tangent)), I was doing laundry and homework and whatnot, and I left my room within my apartment to go to the bathroom. The door shut behind me. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. :/
Apparently, the doorknob hit the wall when I had last opened it, thus activating the lock. And where is my key, you ask? In my (locked) room. :/
(As is my cellphone, laptop, UMSOWEITER [German for AND SO ON Dx])
I think to myself, I'll ask a friend to call Campus Safety for me. I go to several (by that, I mean two [I don't know many people in this building :/]) people's rooms, but to no avail. (I did place something to prop the door open, though, so as to not get locked out of the apartment as well, so huzzahs for that.)
I thought about calling my parents, but that was going to be a last resort. So I look around the apartment and GASPER GRAPES PAGERS what do I have on the fridge? A flyer for the college library with its phone number on it!
So I call that number (using my nifty landline that I use to call my parents on the Westside so as to avoid eating up my Tracfone minutes), get the number for Campus Safety, call Campus Safety, and get my room unlocked.
Huzzahs for that. c:
Also, I am about to go to Merge tonight, and see Heidi. (Honestly, I'm not a humongous fan of Heidi's personality, but hey, socializing, I guess. o3o)
Also, also, I have yet to finish my three to four page SINGLE-SPACED paper for German, but it's not due until midnight tonight, and all I need to do is write the conclusion and look over it. So imma do that after Merge. o3o
/finfornow c:
Despite the title, this is going to be a positive post (for the most part, I hope, haha).
EDIT: I started this post a couple of hours ago, and I'm starting to feel down again. No huzzahs. :/
Anywho, back to the topic at hand.
I was (and still am) alone in the apartment built for four college students on campus. The reason why I'm alone is because one girl/woman (egads) got married (EGADS) and, therefore, was required to move off campus. Another girl/woman went home for the weekend, and has yet to return. The third is not here very often, so... idk. -shrug-
Anywho (times two) ((hey, that rhymed! /tangent)), I was doing laundry and homework and whatnot, and I left my room within my apartment to go to the bathroom. The door shut behind me. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. :/
Apparently, the doorknob hit the wall when I had last opened it, thus activating the lock. And where is my key, you ask? In my (locked) room. :/
(As is my cellphone, laptop, UMSOWEITER [German for AND SO ON Dx])
I think to myself, I'll ask a friend to call Campus Safety for me. I go to several (by that, I mean two [I don't know many people in this building :/]) people's rooms, but to no avail. (I did place something to prop the door open, though, so as to not get locked out of the apartment as well, so huzzahs for that.)
I thought about calling my parents, but that was going to be a last resort. So I look around the apartment and GASPER GRAPES PAGERS what do I have on the fridge? A flyer for the college library with its phone number on it!
So I call that number (using my nifty landline that I use to call my parents on the Westside so as to avoid eating up my Tracfone minutes), get the number for Campus Safety, call Campus Safety, and get my room unlocked.
Huzzahs for that. c:
Also, I am about to go to Merge tonight, and see Heidi. (Honestly, I'm not a humongous fan of Heidi's personality, but hey, socializing, I guess. o3o)
Also, also, I have yet to finish my three to four page SINGLE-SPACED paper for German, but it's not due until midnight tonight, and all I need to do is write the conclusion and look over it. So imma do that after Merge. o3o
/finfornow c:
Friday, January 15, 2016
January 15 - Too Close to Home (Literally)
I am currently in tears right now.
I don't want to be. I want to be happy. I want to be NOT depressed.
I am in the middle of writing my story for Advanced Tutorial Fiction, and the story line is hitting WAY too close to home. I knew that going into it, but I thought I could handle it. I'm not sure if I can anymore (at least now how it's currently going, character development wise.)
What I need to do, is scrap what I have, to develop the characters in different directions, to NOT make it so autobiographical.
What I need to do (2.0), is get a hold of myself.Honestly, suicide went through my mind once again, but NO, I WILL NOT COMMIT SUICIDE, DANG IT. GOD WOULD NOT WANT ME TO DO THAT.
I... am going to put away my laptop for now. I... am going to go to dinner in Gee. (Yay quesadillas? :/) But, YAY FOR FRIENDS.
Also, the Winter Ball is tonight. It's my last one. Honestly, I was leaning toward not going in the middle of my current CF (crying fit, for those who are not me), but now, I'm leaning towards yes. Because socializing, because getting our of this blasted room.
(Also, I received an email from the Fulbright committee saying they passed on my application. I'm sure my parents will be happy; I know they were concerned about me with my BI recovery whatnots and the refugee whatnots and stuff. I'm like, well dang, but at least I tried? Idk.)
Also, also, I did NOT take a Lorazepam due to my CF. I went back to my "Notes to Self" document, and discovered I have not had a Lor since early December 2015. I DON'T WANT TO BREAK THE STREAK. O3O
Also, also, also, I just texted my Dad saying I love him whole bunches. Yeah.
Imma go to Gee now (for serious, this time). Toodles.
Dear Lord,
Thank you for this day. Thank you that I was able to get through this past CF without a Lorazepam. (I mean, I'm happy they exist, but I'm also happy I didn't HAVE to take it.)
Please let me have a good time tonight with friends at the dance.
(Please let this blasted headache go away finally, egads Dx)
Please give me peace about the future, about post-grad. Please, Lord.
Please help me get through these two (TWO!) Jan term classes (FOR CREDIT). Please give me guidance to do what's best for me, regardless of what others think and/or say (like my parents, my therapist, etc.) Please.
(And thank you that I stopped crying. PTL for that.)
In Your Name, Lord,
Amen <3 p="">
I don't want to be. I want to be happy. I want to be NOT depressed.
I am in the middle of writing my story for Advanced Tutorial Fiction, and the story line is hitting WAY too close to home. I knew that going into it, but I thought I could handle it. I'm not sure if I can anymore (at least now how it's currently going, character development wise.)
What I need to do, is scrap what I have, to develop the characters in different directions, to NOT make it so autobiographical.
What I need to do (2.0), is get a hold of myself.
I... am going to put away my laptop for now. I... am going to go to dinner in Gee. (Yay quesadillas? :/) But, YAY FOR FRIENDS.
Also, the Winter Ball is tonight. It's my last one. Honestly, I was leaning toward not going in the middle of my current CF (crying fit, for those who are not me), but now, I'm leaning towards yes. Because socializing, because getting our of this blasted room.
(Also, I received an email from the Fulbright committee saying they passed on my application. I'm sure my parents will be happy; I know they were concerned about me with my BI recovery whatnots and the refugee whatnots and stuff. I'm like, well dang, but at least I tried? Idk.)
Also, also, I did NOT take a Lorazepam due to my CF. I went back to my "Notes to Self" document, and discovered I have not had a Lor since early December 2015. I DON'T WANT TO BREAK THE STREAK. O3O
Also, also, also, I just texted my Dad saying I love him whole bunches. Yeah.
Imma go to Gee now (for serious, this time). Toodles.
Dear Lord,
Thank you for this day. Thank you that I was able to get through this past CF without a Lorazepam. (I mean, I'm happy they exist, but I'm also happy I didn't HAVE to take it.)
Please let me have a good time tonight with friends at the dance.
(Please let this blasted headache go away finally, egads Dx)
Please give me peace about the future, about post-grad. Please, Lord.
Please help me get through these two (TWO!) Jan term classes (FOR CREDIT). Please give me guidance to do what's best for me, regardless of what others think and/or say (like my parents, my therapist, etc.) Please.
(And thank you that I stopped crying. PTL for that.)
In Your Name, Lord,
Amen <3 p="">
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
January 12 - Shame :c
So, in the past, I had to get a handicap placard in order to park in handicapped parking spaces. At the time, I was having intense mobility issues (I believe I may have been using a walker occasionally) so it made sense. (Also, something about my mother with jury duty, but that's another thing.)
My placard doesn't expire until my birthday 2017 (so basically in a year). As such, I am legally allowed to use it.
I know that in the past, a woman basically called me out for parking in a handicapped spot on Main Street with my friend. My friend said something along the lines of, she has a sign, but I still moved my car (to another handicapped spot down the street, but still).
Once more, two other people have mentioned the handicapped space privilege, my dad and a friend, [H]. My dad said something like, don't use the handicapped spaces in the senior apartment parking lot, because someone's parent or someone else visiting could really use it. [H] said something like how a friend of hers with a physical impairment really needs it, so when they are full, she has to walk a longer distance which is taxing on her. I thought to myself, yeah, but there's two handicap spaces in the senior apartments, if I take one, it's not a thing, right?
Today I was walking to Work Study, and I started walking alongside of a girl/woman who had a limp in her step. I have seen her in the past, and I know that this is not new; she probably has a handicap placard (if not, then she would DEFINITELY be eligible for one Dx).
Because of this, I am going to revise my parking choices. I don't want to unfairly take advantage of a privilege endowed to me due to something that's not really much of an issue anymore. :c
(However, I do have sight issues that the ophthalmologist [egads, spelling Dx] said he highly doubts will improve. I'm still dealing with that. :C)
However, however, there are other parking spaces in the Dexter parking lot I can use. Yeah, I think I'll do that.
Dear Lord,
Thank you for this day. Thank you for all the blessings I have received. Thank you that I AM getting better, that I AM alive, that I AM able to go to college, get a degree (two, in fact [!]). Please help me keep in mind how much You have blessed me.
In Your name, Lord,
Amen <3 nbsp="" p="">
My placard doesn't expire until my birthday 2017 (so basically in a year). As such, I am legally allowed to use it.
I know that in the past, a woman basically called me out for parking in a handicapped spot on Main Street with my friend. My friend said something along the lines of, she has a sign, but I still moved my car (to another handicapped spot down the street, but still).
Once more, two other people have mentioned the handicapped space privilege, my dad and a friend, [H]. My dad said something like, don't use the handicapped spaces in the senior apartment parking lot, because someone's parent or someone else visiting could really use it. [H] said something like how a friend of hers with a physical impairment really needs it, so when they are full, she has to walk a longer distance which is taxing on her. I thought to myself, yeah, but there's two handicap spaces in the senior apartments, if I take one, it's not a thing, right?
Today I was walking to Work Study, and I started walking alongside of a girl/woman who had a limp in her step. I have seen her in the past, and I know that this is not new; she probably has a handicap placard (if not, then she would DEFINITELY be eligible for one Dx).
Because of this, I am going to revise my parking choices. I don't want to unfairly take advantage of a privilege endowed to me due to something that's not really much of an issue anymore. :c
(However, I do have sight issues that the ophthalmologist [egads, spelling Dx] said he highly doubts will improve. I'm still dealing with that. :C)
However, however, there are other parking spaces in the Dexter parking lot I can use. Yeah, I think I'll do that.
Dear Lord,
Thank you for this day. Thank you for all the blessings I have received. Thank you that I AM getting better, that I AM alive, that I AM able to go to college, get a degree (two, in fact [!]). Please help me keep in mind how much You have blessed me.
In Your name, Lord,
Amen <3 nbsp="" p="">
Friday, January 8, 2016
January 8 - Simming It Up
Hello once more. :)
Yes, I know it's late (though I believe my time is still set for MST on this account, I believe, considering I created it way back in Arizona, lol. xD)
I just got back from a movie night with my adopted little and others in that group. It was great.
We definitely watched Inside Out. It was the second movie we watched. They are still there watching Big Hero Six. We also watched another movie before Inside Out (which I had likewise previously seen), but I can't seem to remember it right now.
I could probably remember it if I spend more time thinking about it. (Heck, it will probably flash into my brain either as I'm writing this or sometime during the night.)
(AND, I just looked on Facebook, and lo and behold, my adopted little's status is the first one I see, in which she states that we watched the movie Home first. Thank you, adopted little c:.)
Like, I know that in the GRAND scheme of things, the fact that we watched Home first is NOT a big deal (if any deal at all). However, however, however, stuff. Reasons. Gift horse. Meh.
The reason why I titled this post "Simming It Up" is because I used to play the computer game The Sims 2 a lot (and I mean a WHOLE lot Dx). On said game, each character has different bars for different needs, such as Hunger and Energy. I believe that, if I were a Sim, my Social bar would be quite full right now. Huzzahs to that.
And on that positive note, I bid you adieu. Adieu!
<3 p="">
Yes, I know it's late (though I believe my time is still set for MST on this account, I believe, considering I created it way back in Arizona, lol. xD)
I just got back from a movie night with my adopted little and others in that group. It was great.
We definitely watched Inside Out. It was the second movie we watched. They are still there watching Big Hero Six. We also watched another movie before Inside Out (which I had likewise previously seen), but I can't seem to remember it right now.
I could probably remember it if I spend more time thinking about it. (Heck, it will probably flash into my brain either as I'm writing this or sometime during the night.)
(AND, I just looked on Facebook, and lo and behold, my adopted little's status is the first one I see, in which she states that we watched the movie Home first. Thank you, adopted little c:.)
Like, I know that in the GRAND scheme of things, the fact that we watched Home first is NOT a big deal (if any deal at all). However, however, however, stuff. Reasons. Gift horse. Meh.
The reason why I titled this post "Simming It Up" is because I used to play the computer game The Sims 2 a lot (and I mean a WHOLE lot Dx). On said game, each character has different bars for different needs, such as Hunger and Energy. I believe that, if I were a Sim, my Social bar would be quite full right now. Huzzahs to that.
And on that positive note, I bid you adieu. Adieu!
<3 p="">
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
January 6 - Immigration (Round 2)
So, it was not just the one site that reported about this event.
The Blaze - http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2016/01/05/amid-refugee-influx-germany-hit-with-unthinkable-new-years-eve-violence-committed-by-men-of-arab-or-north-african-appearance/?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Firewire%20-%20HORIZON%201-5-16%20FINAL&utm_term=Firewire
Deutsche Welle - http://www.dw.com/en/a-new-dimension-of-sexual-assault-in-cologne/a-18959299
(Sorry Dad. :c)
((Er, es tut mir leid, Vatti. :c))
It kind of, really bothers me that a) this happened to begin with and b) I didn't hear about it sooner from a reputable news source. :/ BAH / NO HUZZAHS / ETC.
Dear Lord,
Please be with Germany. Bitte. Bitte. Bitte.
In Your name, Lord,
Amen. <3 p="">
The Blaze - http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2016/01/05/amid-refugee-influx-germany-hit-with-unthinkable-new-years-eve-violence-committed-by-men-of-arab-or-north-african-appearance/?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Firewire%20-%20HORIZON%201-5-16%20FINAL&utm_term=Firewire
Deutsche Welle - http://www.dw.com/en/a-new-dimension-of-sexual-assault-in-cologne/a-18959299
(Sorry Dad. :c)
((Er, es tut mir leid, Vatti. :c))
It kind of, really bothers me that a) this happened to begin with and b) I didn't hear about it sooner from a reputable news source. :/ BAH / NO HUZZAHS / ETC.
Dear Lord,
Please be with Germany. Bitte. Bitte. Bitte.
In Your name, Lord,
Amen. <3 p="">
Monday, January 4, 2016
January 4 - Immigration
So I just received this article in an email from my dad - http://www.breitbart.com/london/2016/01/04/revealed-1000-migrants-brawl-rape-sexually-assault-steal-one-german-train-station-new-years-eve/.
I have many things to say/write about this (none of which I currently plan on sharing with my father).
1 - I am NOT impressed by the amount of grammar fails within the article (for example, placing the period or the comma outside the quotation marks).
That is a sign of lack of professionalism imo. Like, if they can't even copy edit the article correctly, how can I trust what they put inside said article?
2 - I REALLY WISH my dad would stop it. Just stop it. I'm not going on the Jan term trip to Germany (obviously), and I don't know as of yet about the Fulbright, about whether or not I will receive it. (As of right now, I am unsure about whether or not I would accept it, should I get offered it, but I'll cross that bridge [with prayer and God's guidance!] if/when I get there.)
DON'T GET ME WRONG. THERE IS NOTHING GOOD ABOUT THIS SITUATION.
However, Germany is much wilder in general than the US. (Goodness knows that even when I was there back in high school, the crowds were rowdy, such as after a fußball game.) But did I tell my dad that? Nope, because I knew he would freak out. :/
(Also, the links at the bottom of the article made me doubt the credibility of the source even more, but then I thought to myself, wait, those are the same sorts of links as are on TheBlaze's website too, right? Alas. :c)
Dear Lord,
Please be with Germany. Please be with its citizens and the refugees currently residing there. Please don't let the actions of a few hurt the prospects of the many. :c
Please be with me as I finish out this school year. Please give me guidance about the Fulbright if I should be offered it.
Please be with my dad.
Please be with Grandpa Noel as he is in the hospital. Please heal him.
I have many things to say/write about this (none of which I currently plan on sharing with my father).
1 - I am NOT impressed by the amount of grammar fails within the article (for example, placing the period or the comma outside the quotation marks).
That is a sign of lack of professionalism imo. Like, if they can't even copy edit the article correctly, how can I trust what they put inside said article?
2 - I REALLY WISH my dad would stop it. Just stop it. I'm not going on the Jan term trip to Germany (obviously), and I don't know as of yet about the Fulbright, about whether or not I will receive it. (As of right now, I am unsure about whether or not I would accept it, should I get offered it, but I'll cross that bridge [with prayer and God's guidance!] if/when I get there.)
DON'T GET ME WRONG. THERE IS NOTHING GOOD ABOUT THIS SITUATION.
However, Germany is much wilder in general than the US. (Goodness knows that even when I was there back in high school, the crowds were rowdy, such as after a fußball game.) But did I tell my dad that? Nope, because I knew he would freak out. :/
(Also, the links at the bottom of the article made me doubt the credibility of the source even more, but then I thought to myself, wait, those are the same sorts of links as are on TheBlaze's website too, right? Alas. :c)
Dear Lord,
Please be with Germany. Please be with its citizens and the refugees currently residing there. Please don't let the actions of a few hurt the prospects of the many. :c
Please be with me as I finish out this school year. Please give me guidance about the Fulbright if I should be offered it.
Please be with my dad.
Please be with Grandpa Noel as he is in the hospital. Please heal him.
(Please be with Mom when he passes away. Please.)
In your name, Lord,
Amen.
UPDATE - 1.5.16
So I read this other article (http://www.latimes.com/nation/la-na-ff-militia-oregon-20160103-story.html) and there was a similar error.
"A day earlier, he told reporters that the men intended to overthrow of the government."
However, this one came from the LA Times website. :/
(Seriously, LA Times? Seriously?)
Bah / alas / egads / etc. Dx
UPDATE - 1.5.16
So I read this other article (http://www.latimes.com/nation/la-na-ff-militia-oregon-20160103-story.html) and there was a similar error.
"A day earlier, he told reporters that the men intended to overthrow of the government."
However, this one came from the LA Times website. :/
(Seriously, LA Times? Seriously?)
Bah / alas / egads / etc. Dx
Friday, January 1, 2016
January 1 - 2016 (!)
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I spent the night at a friend's apartment last night, because she is all adult-y and living on her own now. Egads, that should be me in a year. :X I almost didn't go, but I'm glad I did. c:
Today, I went out with another friend for lunch and shopping. F used to attend the same college as me, but transferred to another, nearby one during the year I was out, I believe. Because of this, she was on track to graduate 2014, but will be graduating 2016, the same year as me (because she changed majors, as well).
F asked me what I wanted to do post-grad, living-wise. I said that my parents really wanted to move out of the South. She has mentioned rooming together post-grad before, but I'm not sure about that. I talked/wrote to R (a mutual friend who lived previously in New Hampshire) about that, and she said she wasn't sure about F's ability to live away from her parents, honestly. However, that was over a year ago, I believe.
Idk. I need to focus on one day at a time.
In other news, I just finished reading through my "Notes to Self" document that I started in 2014 sometime. And yes, I have come a long way. P to the T to the L.
Dear Lord,
Thank You for this day. Thank You for ALL of the blessings You have given me.
Thank You for sticking with me through all of this, even/especially when I have doubted You.
Please give me peace, wisdom, and guidance about the future.
Please help Dad with his work situation.
Please help me when I communicate with my parents about stuff. (o3o)
And finally (for tonight/right now at least, lol), please BLESS this year of 2016.
In Your name, Lord,
Amen (less than three :) )
I spent the night at a friend's apartment last night, because she is all adult-y and living on her own now. Egads, that should be me in a year. :X I almost didn't go, but I'm glad I did. c:
Today, I went out with another friend for lunch and shopping. F used to attend the same college as me, but transferred to another, nearby one during the year I was out, I believe. Because of this, she was on track to graduate 2014, but will be graduating 2016, the same year as me (because she changed majors, as well).
F asked me what I wanted to do post-grad, living-wise. I said that my parents really wanted to move out of the South. She has mentioned rooming together post-grad before, but I'm not sure about that. I talked/wrote to R (a mutual friend who lived previously in New Hampshire) about that, and she said she wasn't sure about F's ability to live away from her parents, honestly. However, that was over a year ago, I believe.
Idk. I need to focus on one day at a time.
In other news, I just finished reading through my "Notes to Self" document that I started in 2014 sometime. And yes, I have come a long way. P to the T to the L.
Dear Lord,
Thank You for this day. Thank You for ALL of the blessings You have given me.
Thank You for sticking with me through all of this, even/especially when I have doubted You.
Please give me peace, wisdom, and guidance about the future.
Please help Dad with his work situation.
Please help me when I communicate with my parents about stuff. (o3o)
And finally (for tonight/right now at least, lol), please BLESS this year of 2016.
In Your name, Lord,
Amen (less than three :) )
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