Christmas! Thank Goodness!

I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so incredibly glad that Christmas break starts in 22 hours. So, so incredibly happy.

Over break, I am going to try to set up a meeting of all of my critique group. I haven't received comments from two of my group yet, so I will email them again.

As for the timeline, I'm probably just going divide the chapters I need to do by the weeks remaining. Nothing fancy.

Thank goodness those papers are over. I can breathe again.

The Week

This week has really just been me focusing on my papers. Stress, nervous breakdowns (almost), and all that whatnot.

I am very close to finishing the research paper. All I have left is adding a few more examples and finishing the introduction. I feel pretty solid about this paper. The vision paper needs a lot of work, but I finally found somewhere to live, hypothetically. According to my vision paper, I am going to be living in a 10x15 apartment in Seattle's Chinatown. Small, yes - random, yes -- but plausible.

I am excited for Christmas break. So, so excited. I wish I could fast forward to this Friday afternoon just to have these papers behind me.

Also, for those who care, I took the Myers Briggs Personality profiler and it came up with INFJ (Introverted iNtuition Feeling Judging). If you were curious.

Let's see... here's a line from a song I've come to love in the last two days...

"He says, 'Bill I believe this is killing me.'

As his smile ran away from his face.

'Well I'm sure that I could be a movie star

If I could get out of this place.'"

- "The Piano Man" by Billy Joel (my emphasis)

Another thing, and I may be stepping over some lines by saying this, but... I have much much more to say than what is mentioned here. So much more. But some things can't or shouldn't be shared or even said aloud. That's just asking for trouble. Sorry to be enigmatic, but it's getting late and you can tell by all these post scripts. I just felt like it should said, though it shall be remain unknown.

Progress!

It actually happened. I wrote for five hours over Thanksgiving break. It might not sound like much, but I feel like I have my... "mojo" back. I just have to keep the ball rolling and keep going at it.
I realized that I have a lot of stuff to do for my book. I have lots and lots of writing to do. But by golly I'm doing it.Recently, I have stopped watching as much television as I used to and I can feel my productivity going up as well as my overall wellbeing. I'm not saying that it will last, this television abstinence, but I'm okay with it for now.
Anything else... I am very happy to think that I'll be done with the research paper next week and it won't be over my head anymore. Not that I work on it a lot, but the mental burden will finally be relieved.
My eyes are burning. I was up until 12:30 last night doing homework and I had to stay at the school until 5:30 for tutoring. I feel exhausted. Thank goodness for the weekend.

Another Week...

another essay. My creative juices are running a little thin with all of this school writing.

Next week is the state Quiz Bowl meet.

I don't feel like I have much to say. What I want to do is work on my actual Senior Project. I find it incredibly frustrating that I am unable to do so because of all of the other whatnot. I know that there are people who feel exponentially more frustrated about Senior Project than me, so I'm glad that I am not one of them.

I am emailing out my first chapters today. I missed my original date of November 1 due to everything else. Little tasks seem to get pushed out of my mind when I have other massive deadlines looming.

In Economics, we are beginning to write a "Vision" paper of what we want to be doing in five years, lifestyle-wise and money-wise. We also need to say what we're going to doing the next four years to reach this ideal. Honestly, I cannot see myself past college. I cannot see myself working. If anything, I see myself in a scantily filled apartment with books, a laptop, and a lot of pens and paper. After college, the only job I can think of right now would be a copy editor or something. Getting to read books for free and fix their mistakes. Sounds wonderful to me. I don't even know where I want to live after college. Not Spartanburg, honestly. Maybe California or North Carolina or Germany. No idea.

This is a hard paper. Lots of thinking and right now, thinking is a scary thought.

Progress...?

I actually wrote for about an hour and a half last Saturday. It was at a party (yes I know that's weird) but the environment was quite productive.

If you didn't hear, we, the Oakbrook Quiz Bowl Team, are now SCISA Regional Champions. We beat Richard Wynn and St. Joseph's to take the title. The funny thing is, it was really close in the end (200 - 195) and when it was announced that we won, the entire room was silent. Everyone was in shock because, let's face it, we never win these things, especially against St. Joseph's. So we are going to the state meet. Amazing.

I feel better now that another wave of massive homework load has passed. I should be good for another week or two before the next wave comes.

Whistle

I have not worked on my book at all for a while now. That really, really bothers me. As for the research paper, I haven't touched it since I turned it in. That kind of bothers me too.

Right now, I'm not feeling very motivated and I really don't know what to write about here.

I might be applying to UNC Asheville next week so I can apply for their scholarships. It would be nice to get an acceptance under my belt. Now that I'm actually filling out applications, I keep looking back at other options and wondering if I disregarded them too soon... Nyah.

Whistle.

Deviant Journal Entry

Yes, I feel better now that the rough draft is done. It is definitely not one of my better works. The paper is really just a string of connected quotations, but I have a month to fix that.

On college news, I am not going to be able to meet Stanford's Early Action deadline. I entirely forgot about sending off my SAT scores, and apparently it takes five weeks for scores to be sent... yeah. I could spend an extra twenty dollars getting the scores to California in two days, but I feel shaky on the essay anyways, so I don't feel too bummed about the decision to wait for the regular deadline.

I finally got the last member of the critique group contacted. He is a male seventh grader who goes to Oakbrook. I will be emailing out the completed parts of the novel to the critique group over the weekend.

As to my actual writing, I am doing it bit by bit. Now that the rough draft is done, I might get some more writing done tonight. Not much to be done this weekend though, because I've got about four major things (quiz, book review, article, abstract) due on Monday.

The future is looking bright, right? It will be nice to have an evening where I don't need to work on school-related stuff until ten thirty and need to wake up early to complete it.

I have the urge to end this post with a quotation. Let's see... here's one.

"Don't judge a thing 'till you know what's inside it." - Bryan Adams

Ah heck, here's another one.

"Not all those who wander are lost." - JRR Tolkien

Outline

Yes, I forgot to write a blog post last Friday so I shall do it today.

Below is the outline for the book I am writing. If you do not want any spoilers, then do not read the words between the dashes...

Warning: It's quite long.

------

I. Andor and the Palace

a. Andor

i. Before Arrest

ii. Arrest

b. Time at the Palace

i. First Few Days

ii. Banquet

iii. Return to Andor

iv. Parent Reveal

v. Poisoning

vi. Ignis Flower

vii. Engagement

1. Reveal

2. The Necklace

3. Reveal Once More

4. Escape

II. Adventures in Falleon

a. Motel Business

b. Fenicks

i. Intro to Filio

ii. Training

iii. Leyes’ Backstory

iv. Phoenix

v. Whispered Conversation

vi. Escape/Departure

c. Gallowtown

d. Rabbit Business

e. Festival – Lights on Water

f. Fire Business (Rabbit Recall)

g. Ignatio Light’s Manor

i. Training

ii. Return to Falleon City

1. Orphanage

2. Palace

h. Mint Leaf Bay

i. Find the Elves

i. Dragons (perhaps)

ii. Erise Story

j. Epic Battle

i. Filio’s Icicle

ii. Blasted Elves

iii. Capture

iv. Death

III. The Castle Once More

a. First Day(s)

b. Training

i. Flight

ii. Fire

c. Horseback Riding

i. Friend Sighting

ii. The Kiss

1. Heart Loss

2. Release

d. Contact with Erise

e. Water Moment in Library

f. Almost Did It

i. Didn’t Do It

g. Marriage

i. Threaten Leyes

ii. Reveal

iii. Regain Heart Essence

1. Realization of Weakness

2. Mockery from Oramus

a. Erise’s Release

b. Corinth Notices, Does Nothing

iv. Erise’s Push

1. Grabbed Too

2. Leyes Helps

v. Corinth’s Finale

IV. Wrapping It Up

a. Government Set Up

b. Parents

c. Pasin and Leyes on Mountain

i. Option to Go

ii. Decides to Stay

--------

Okay, it's safe now.

Honestly, I am not sure if this is what a book outline looks like; I just wrote what came to mind. As you can tell, the formatting is messed up on here. Sorry.

Thesis and Other Whatnot

Right. So my thesis for my research paper is as follows...

"Fantasy books invite children to use their imaginations and explore their worlds creatively; reading fantasy books encourages creative thinking, innovative problem-solving, and the curiosity to explore unorthodox options."

Honestly, I have not gotten very far with my paper. Today, I printed out three more sources to read through making my grand total of sources come out to five. -fanfare- I will probably be working on that later tonight.

I just read Rebecca's blog and I honestly agree with her sentiment. It's not that I hate what I am doing in my classes - the problem is that everything is stacked up on each other. I would really enjoy learning about this topic for my research paper if I didn't have all my other work to deal with. Yes, I know that's how the real world works. I am not going to say I like it though.

Lately, I've been feeling like my writing has been stagnant and just... wrong sounding. Like what I've written so far in my blog. I feel like I have this wooden thing blocking the fluidity of my thoughts so that they come out wrong. I am kind of scared that the Economics paper I turned in today had the same problem.

I wrote two pages more in my book this week. Yes, I wrote them in government class, but they are written.

By the way, if I haven't answered your comments, it's not because I'm not reading them. I am used to having a reply button on comments so that the author is notified when I reply is made. From now on, I will simply leave my comment below the first. My bad, mea culpa, es tut mir leid, etc. Sorry.

Gah, I feel like I have more to say but I can't remember it. Kind of like how I feel when I am in a debate.

Wooden words. Ugh.

College?

Let's see, I just got back from a college visit about six minutes ago and realized that I had to write this blog post for tomorrow. At least I remembered...
I visited Elon University in (-drum roll-) Elon, NC. I liked it for the most part; the student body is around 5000 people and that seems a bit big for me. Also, I signed up to sit in on a Creative Writing class and the professor never showed up. Other than that, I enjoyed the trip. Their mascot is a phoenix, which doesn't hurt.
Alas, I have done little (aka nothing) with my Senior Project this week except draft an email and perhaps write three lines in my book. I'm too busy worrying to do anything. And I'm only half-joking when I say that.
If I think about what I still need to do, I might a) have a panic attack b) freeze with worry or c) laugh hysterically until everyone around me thinks I've lost it. Which might happen.
Hopefully, the stress and deadlines will push me to get an extraordinary amount of work done and give me hope for the future. That would be nice.

Topic

This week was Senior Retreat. It was quite enjoyable, though walking up hills is not my favorite thing to do. Anyway, that is why I desperately need to work on my cumulating homework instead of loafing around...

Anywho, I have a research paper topic now. I am going to research how fantasy novels encourage creativity and innovative problem-solving instead of disconnecting the reader from the real world. I kind of would rather learn about power addiction, but I know that that would be a vastly greater time commitment if I pursued that. Two of the sources I had listed before were actual books, and honestly, I have enough on my plate without adding a super serious/intense research paper to the mix. I am still interested in learning more about addiction to power, but I think my new topic is more feasible. I would much rather spend time actually writing my book instead of diving into such a deep topic.

I need to contact my critique group and send out what I have already written. I also need to stop avoiding my email.

Talking about my book, I finished another bit last night. It's exciting to see it emerging bit by bit.

I feel like I have more to say, but I can't remember what it is. Pff.

Whatnot

Right now I am trying to figure out a new thesis for my research paper. I've been at it for... half an hour? More? I'm having difficulty finding a subject that has an argument around it and if I do think of something, I can't find any research about it. Can I do a research paper using sources that do not specifically talk about my topic but a topic very much closely related? I am not sure.

Really quickly, one my Senior Project proposal form, the title was "Chaos in Your Soul." That is not what I plan to title my book (though it is nifty); this phrase is from a quote by Friedrich Nietzsche. He said, "You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star." I sure hope he's right. By the time this project is over, I might have a galaxy. Anyway, this connects to the main character's Elemental Classification and my viewpoint on life in general. That's why I titled my project that.

Side note - Is it okay to address a topic that is controversial in Oakbrook? Could I do a paper advocating gay marriage or abortion? I'm not going to, I am merely curious.

Right now I have thirteen tabs up on Firefox and they all have to do with my project. Nyah.

Let's see, now it's been an hour and a half thinking of a thesis. And counting...

So I did my presentation on Monday and it went better than I thought it would. I (finally) got my Mentor Agreement form signed and turned in. And I got written comments from the Board today. From the looks of it, everyone agrees that this project will be demanding and they aren't sure if I can complete it in time. I entirely understand this, but I know that I have a deep (burning, engulfing) passion for this project that has been building over the past three years. I will get this project done on time. There is no other option. Even if it wasn't for Senior Project, I would complete this book before I graduate. No other option.

Something else the Board mentioned is that I should try to find a male reader for the critique group. That makes sense, I just don't know many young males interested in doing this. Any takers? I'm going to have to think about that...

So once I get my outline of the book done, I am going to post it here. The date for that should be somewhere in October so I have time.

In non-Senior Project stuff, I signed up to take the October ACT yesterday and signed up to tour Elon University and hopefully sit in on one of their Creative Writing classes (cross your fingers). If not Creative Writing, then either Psychology or Sociology. I'm super excited about that too. Whoo. Now I just need to go do all my papers, projects, and whatnot over the weekend. Yippee.

R-R-Rewind

You know all that stuff I said earlier? Disregard it. All of it.

I realized I'm not really passionate about writing a nonfiction high school book. I think I was fooling myself into thinking that...

So now I am going back to my original, original idea. I am writing a fantasy novel. I actually mentioned it in my very first post - "Starburst" is its working title though I am going to change it because apparently the term is trademarked.

This novel is set in a fantasy world where people have the abilities of the four elements, but expanded. Instead of just air, water, fire, earth, people can have specific abilities (like Air vs Gust) or something beyond those four (like Light or Spark). The main character Pasin is a freak in this world (Falleon) because she does not have any Elemental ability. She's an orphan as well, and is rejected at every turn. However, one fateful day in the marketplace (yes I know it sounds cliche) Pasin reaches the boiling point. A flash of light and heat, and then a descent into mental darkness.

When Pasin wakes up, she is being tried for disturbing the peace and attempted assault by use of a power she doesn't recognize. Somehow, she finds herself at the palace as one of the ladies of the court, vying for the attention of King Oramus. But Oramus has secrets of his own and intrigues run deeper than Pasin realizes.

Wow. It sounds so cliche. I don't want to give what happens away, but I want you to understand what's going on so... impasse.

Oh and huzzah huzzah! I have found a mentor! Dr. Edna Ellison who has nine books for sale on Amazon and helped tremendously with a scholarship I did last year. Huzzah huzzah that is a massive load off my mind.

So now the research paper. Originally, I was going to do it about whether homework is helpful or hindering students, but now I'm not sure that fits. I was thinking about writing something about addiction - not drugs or tobaccos, but either process addiction (gambling, shopping) or psychological (addiction to power). I'm not sure how to make a paper out of that and I kind of need to go to Government. So ciao.

Mentor

So... I still don't have a mentor. I've talked to several people and whatnot. Right now, I am looking at someone who helped me with a scholarship I entered last year. I emailed her two/three days ago, but she hasn't answered. Goodness, the phone is inevitable, isn't it? -sigh-

I'm reading some published books on high school and I really realize that formatting is important. There's one book that has boxes and colors and it's engaging to read - then there's a book that is about a foot tall with only black and white text and ridiculous margins. I doubt anyone has checked it out for years.

-

On an entirely unrelated note... I really want to have another month of vacation. With absolutely no asssignments to do, no required books to read, and no chores/housework. Ugh.

Clarification

This entry is to serve as clarification for my project idea.

My plan is to write a book about high school that is geared toward current middle school students. I want to present informative, helpful information in an interesting and engaging way so that the reader is both entertained and informed. Chapters would cover such subjects as choosing classes, studying, note-taking, everyday activities, and extracurriculars.

My goal by the end of the year is to have a rough draft or manuscript of the book, but not the format of the book completed. Depending on how much time I have left over, I might begin working with formatting, but that is not the main goal.

I plan on interviewing a variety of people to include in the book, including teacher, administration, and admission officers from local colleges. I also want to get interviews from students of different schooling, like public school, homeschool, or even the Governor's School. I might try to shadow a student at a public school one day for a change in perspective.

I'm still not sure about my mentor, I need to contact someone by phone (which I am not looking forward to), but I realize that is fairly important. I also need to think of a research paper topic. Yes, I need to get back to work now.

Senior Project

That's right. I said it.

This is now my Senior Project blog. If you don't care one bit, feel free not to watch it. If you are interested however, feel free to leave helpful comments and whatnot.

What's my Senior Project you might ask?
-cliche drum roll-
Why I'm writing a book. About high school.

Pretty nifty right? Right.

Hey World! I've Got Something To Say!

And I am sure you do too.

Testing text.

Ixxxx'm conscidering going toxzcx my schcxzcxool in tzxzcxche middlexzxcx of the czxcxzxnight anzzzxccd findixzcxxcng a way on txzxco the roof so thzxcxvat I can dxxxo somxzcxze yellinzxczg. I'm noxczxxt quite sure hocxzcw that's goinxczxcxg to work zxcxzcout thouzxczxgh.

Anxzcd tcxzxche megczxcxzaphoxxzcnxcxzcxe zxmight be a bizxczxt much.