Attitude Change (and Revert)

Well, I still have not done very much this week, though I have done more than I have lately. I'm going to work on it a bit more today after I finish this blog, and I'm going to have time over the weekend to work on it because of a lovely lack of homework. I foresee a lot of work in my future. -sigh-

Speaking of sighs, I received an email today about a scholarship I entered. I submitted some of my work for a creative writing scholarship and I was not chosen as one of the five finalists. The email said there were 83 (85?) applicants for the scholarship and I know that there has to be losers in order to have winners. I do not feel confident in my writing anymore, honestly. After reading Song of Solomon for English class, I feel even less confident. I want to create something great, something meaningful beyond a plot, but it's just not coming.

I'm still waiting on admission information from Davidson and Stanford. I'll find out about Davidson on the 26th and about Stanford on April 1st.

Not Much. Honestly.

This week has been a wash. I've written about a page and a half in my notebook, but nothing else. I know I am behind, and I want to catch up, but I also want to do my English homework, my Govt homework, Econ, German, etc. I have had difficulty in doing this project when the deadline seems so far away (though not so far anymore!). I need to kick it up a notch and do my project.

I haven't been very happy with myself this week for a combination of things, including Senior Project. One thing I am looking forward to in college is having a clean slate where old assignments and grades do no matter nearly as much.

Just keep going... just keep going... just keep going....

Plans

I finally finished the "Epic Battle" chapter of my book. It took up seven pages of my graph paper notebook and it took 3.5 hours to write. One more section down - just five more before I'm caught up.

I have a lot of work to do still. I just need to do it, instead of wasting time on the computer or watching TV. Also, writer's block really stinks. I know what is going to happen, but sometimes it is hard to translate that into words. Or I don't know what's going to happen, but the book needs this transition period, so I have to make it up as I go.

This Friday/Saturday I am going to Elon University for their Fellows weekend to see if I will be accepted to their Honors College (basically). I'm going to be interviewed (which I am not looking forward to). Also, I have to attend a class and do an impromptu writing assignment afterwards which I almost am looking forward to.

When I was writing the epic battle part, I realized I had to sacrifice quality just so I could get it done. I do not like that, but it is necessary. Sigh.

Really Not Much New

I have worked on my book, but I have not made a great amount of progress so there's really not much to say about that. I have about six sections to do in the next week in a half to catch up.

I am feeling a bit nervous about being able to finish in time. I know I can do it, I just need to do it instead of thinking about doing it. Mah, writing is a fickle beast.

And by the way, the soccer field is 105 paces (my paces) long. That is one part of writing that I really like - getting to research random stuff, like the melting point of stone or how far 100 paces is.

[Insert Unintelligible Moan Here]

My book really got put on hold this week because I am finishing a scholarship. I have little more to say about that. I really wish I could work on ONLY my book, but that is not possible right now.

Apparently, the EFC (Expected Family Contribution) that FAFSA gave me is about 7/10 of our real annual income. We own part of a property in Germany, so that effectively killed most of my hopes for financial aid. Hence the scholarship. Ugh.

I am thinking of quitting a few of my activities so I have more time to write. The thing is, I don't know if this particular week is just really stressful, or if this amount of stress is going to normal from here on out.

Progress! Maybe!

So this week, I completed "Return to Falleon - Orphanage/Transition," "Contact with Erise," and I am halfway through "Fire Business (Rabbit Recall)" and "Leyes' Moment." I plan on finishing the latter two today and tomorrow, which means I will be only two sections behind instead of five. Which is quite the good news bad news moment.

The thing is, the two sections I do have done were 1834 and 1980 words respectively. That's around 3 and 1/2 pages each, single-spaced in 12 point font. That is a lot of writing. I am rather proud of myself. Now I just need to catch up on the other sections and I will be super excited.

Last Saturday I had a meeting with my mentor Dr. Ellison. We talked about the first fifty pages I sent her. She said she really liked the plot, the characters, and the world which was amazing to hear. She gave me some ideas on how to develop relationships between the characters as well as a fair amount of grammar rules to look out for. Man I love praise... I just need to make sure it doesn't go to my head.

I was rereading a part of my book so I could properly transition into it, and when I was reading it, I realized... I realized that I freaking love my story. I love the characters, I love the world, I love the intrigue, I lovelovelove the characters. I'm not saying this out of conceit. I've been thinking about this story since November of 9th grade and it is amazing to see it actually be fleshed out on paper. I am going to be sad when I 'm done with it, but happy too.

I could say something cliche now, like "I'll always have these characters in my heart" or "The story will never really be over for me," but that's just sappy. So I will end this post with a palindrome.

No sir! Away! A papaya war is on!

...Yup.

Still Behind

Yeah, I really need to work on my book. This last week was my catch-up week and I haven't been doing much catching up. My schedule has me writing three sections of the book a week, but the schedule for last week included two sections that are rather large. I am working on the book; I'm just not getting very far with it. I have a lot of stuff going on this week... I just hope I can get it all finished.

In happier news, I placed second in the State Literary Meet for 1 hour Essay. I wrote on the question, "Is the Tea Party a viable force in US politics?" Yeehaw.

I have a meeting with my mentor on Saturday, so I need to get organized. Yup.